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Posts
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-I was with him for over 4 and a half years
-He was a little pushy and a tad controlling
-I didn’t want to conform totally but did change a little (in a good way for him)
– I ended things as he was too pushy and irresponsible (like messy, not a regular job, he has been going to uni for two years… But is in dept so cannot afford it yet, he is unable to talk about his bad feelings with anyone apart form me and he has been to uni twice previously to do the same course he wants to do now, but spent his student loans and had to come home)I have spent the last ten days doing NC
We split over 60 days ago, I split with him and he rang me the next day for ‘time’ to change… I rang him a few days later really, really drunk and gave him lots of abuse! I felt awful the next day, but had to go for a chat at his house.He wanted time to think, I wasn’t in NC at this point, didn’t give him immense space, text him every few days asking him what was happening.
Eventually he said it had been a while and I should go for a chat. He ended our nearly five year relationship saying he was going to uni soon, and we wouldn’t make it.
When I rang him drunk he was at his friends (smoking pot) I don’t do this and I have told him many times I would like him to stop as I would be thrown off my uni degree if I’m caught any were near anyone doing this! (he has even picked up with me i his car!)
He said his friends would judge him if he got back with me.On the other hand he has messaged me saying how lonely he is without me and that I am the only one he has opened up too. I’m taking that as I miss you…
Am I stupid to love this man? Is there any hope? I want him back but feel ridiculous for trying so hard when I feel like he isn’t trying 100% like I am.
Any ones opinions would be good, but be gentle haha, I’m a big ball of emotion right now 🙂
I know exactly how you feel . to want someone back so bad and they feel like they don’t even want you . the mixed feelings and everything . I changed for my ex and everything . but she is to caught up with her friends more then me . if you feel that way then the best thing you can do is give it time . leave him alone and let him smoke pot with his buddies . Hes going to want you back I Guarantee it . I was a huge pot head and my ex hated it . I kept smoking anyways and ignored her. I would always chill with my buddies an get high then one day she just left me . I quit smoking and hanging with my buddies to show her that I cared . I thought I had her around my fingers … Just do the NC and I promise it will work .. well at least it killed me whenever my ex would never reply to me . .. show him your boss .. be positive and happy ! hope everything works out
Thank you for your reply Adam. I’m really glad you wrote this.
I’m 12 days into NC, today is the first day for a long time that I haven’t locked myself in the loo at work to have a little cry! I used to be so independent and happy, it’s really not like me at all.
I’m working on being happy, which I was previously. He ended things with me tho Adam, I really don’t think he cares anymore to be honest, I still haven’t heard from him. it’s really, really getting to me. 2 of my friends have suggested I get some anti-depressants! (I hate that idea!)
He hasn’t stopped hanging about smoking pot with his friends, he also just smokes alone… Everyday and I’m doubtful that anything will have changed in the past few weeks.
I’m starting to feel like he’s not worth it to be honest. Although I love him and would love to be with him. I deserve better, everyone tells me this.
Are you wanting your ex back that you mention in your post?
Hey all,
So it’s day 16 of NC, I’m like over half way!!
I feel so much better in myself than I did, it actually DOES get better if you follow the plan. Go out, go to the gym put really happy statuses on facebook. It’s all going well for me atm.
I’m a little concerned as I’ve not felt this good about myself since he left me and I don’t want to have to go collect any money from him. I’m pretty sure he won’t put it in my account, but we will see. He hasn’t contacted me in any way since I had asked for my stuff back. This just confirms in my mind everyday that passes I’m better off without him really, do still love him, but I also love cheese and that’s also bad for me!
Just felt really good today, I’m gonna ask a guy I’ve met to do something fun next weekend. So That will count as the date and will be quite fun as he’s a great guy too 🙂
Thanks for reading my ramble 🙂
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