Anniversary soon, would like some general advice :)

Hi everyone, and thanks in advance for your advice!

I (22 Male) was recently dumped by my girlfriend (23) of almost 4 years. We have been broken up for about 2 months. It was a bit of a messy breakup, she asked for space/time apart initially and I did not give it to her.

So to give context, she has recently finished uni, turned 23 and is thinking about moving cities to work, there is a lot going on in her life. She told me that she felt like we were more companions than romantic lovers anymore, and felt that I would agree that we had grown apart (I didnt) and she would eventually say that my reaction to her feelings confused her and made her doubt herself. After the initial breakup she wanted to talk, we met up, hooked up etc. I was torn to pieces and kept messaging her about how much she meant to me and how badly I wanted things to work. I also wrote a really good letter just explaining how I felt and what I wanted to do – both of us needing time apart to figure out who we are and grow and make the relationship stronger. She told me she read it, never wanted to return to our relationship and wanted to move on, so then I didnt talk to her for about 2 weeks and just did fun things with my friends.

I remove her off Instagram and make her unfollow me (I was checking it too much) and she ends up reaching out to me, saying she felt sad I blocked her on it, asking how I am and wanting to meet up to discuss what I have told our friend group about the breakup (I had been pretty open and honest with most of my friends, she wasnt happy with how open I was, but it helped me to deal with it). I initially was annoyed at the request, it felt selfish and I told her that, she was surprised. However I felt nice so we met up and talked. She told me she missed me and was working on herself, it seemed like the vibe had changed from moving on to moving forward together, we had sex too.

However, the following weekend I told her that a girl had kissed me the previous weekend and she was PISSED. Her whole vibe changed from wanting casual sex and general keeping in contact, wanting to be together almost to not wanting to do anything. Then the mixed messages started.. I apologised, told her I loved her and she said she loved me. She said she wanted us to move forward together, would be open to the relationship returning and that she loved me in her heart but knew in her gut that we broke up for a reason, was very hot and cold towards me over the next few weeks and admittedly I pushed the contact too much and smothered her.

She then changes how she feels and says she doesnt want the relationship to return again, and is having doubts about her sexuality and wants to explore that. She ended up blocking me on facebook messenger out of the blue (I hadnt messaged in a few days) and we havent spoken in a week and a bit. I still feel like she loves me and is confused. However our anniversary is tomorrow and I really want to deliver flowers to her house. I know it is probably too much and cringe, but we both agreed that I wasnt as romantic as I wanted to be during the last few months of our relationship and shown enough love.

So what do I do! Thanks for reading the wall of text lol.

TLDR, longtime gf dumped me and gave up on me, NC for 2 weeks, reached out to me for selfish?? reasons, I got too keen and smothered her, she blocks me on FB, NC again for a week and a half, anniversary tomorrow, want to be romantic towards her.

Thanks 😀 I believe that we can make it work and have a great life together, really feel like she is the one. I am in a good headspace and not too desperate at the moment.