Boards No Contact Rule Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind?

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  • #110924
    richdeniro
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    Met a girl from Bumble and here’s how it’s gone dating wise:

    Sat 29 Dec – went for a few afternoon drinks.
    Sun 30 Dec – Went out for a meal and more drinks, ended up staying over at hers kissing most of the night, slept together but we didn’t have sex.
    Mon 31 Dec – As I woke up at hers we took her dog for a walk in the park and spent most of the day together.
    Tues 1 Jan – She came over to mine and we ordered Chinese, she didn’t stay over.
    Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.
    Sun 6 Jan – Went for a meal and to the cinema.
    Fri 11 Jan – She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn’t stay over.

    Didn’t hear from her for a couple of days so asked what was going on, her response was:
    “Sorry, keep meaning to message back my aunt’s staying at the moment. I’m getting nothing done. I feel we really get on and connect well which is what I’ve also been having some time to mull over, but I do think it might be more of a friendship forming than a romantic connection on my part.”

    I texted back with the following:
    No worries at all and I can imagine it’s busy, hope you’re having a nice time though. Thank you for being honest and to be honest on my part, I do really fancy you and like you quite a bit so don’t think I could be just friends which I hope you understand. If there is still a chance let me know.

    Any chance she might reach back out or should I give up all hope? It’s been just over a week now since those final texts and I just wondered if there might be a slim chance she gets back in touch?

    #110927
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    Even though she probably agreed, you two spent too much time together in the beginning! She said she doesn’t want a romance with you and you can’t force it. She might get back in touch, but it would be as a friend.

    The next time you date a girl, take it slow and get to know her better before you have sex.

    #110930
    richdeniro
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 5

    Ugh, she didn’t just agree, it was her who initiated most of them. I know I should have been less available but it did feel so right and we got on so well plus were both off work at the same time due to the Christmas/New Year holiday period and live 10 minutes walk from each other.

    I guess it ultimately led to her being scared off or losing interest though.

    #110936
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    I’m sorry for your situation. I think Bumble is a hook-up site for people mostly looking for casual relationships. Try to move on the best you can..

    #110941
    Hijack
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 40

    I wouldn’t overthink this one. Sometimes friends means she isn’t attracted, but sometimes it means she met someone else and you’re a backup plan. Neither is good, but if you are OK with being a second choice to her, it wouldn’t hurt to go NC for a month and check back in though.

    I’ve been friends with women I have dated before, but women can’t expect to just unwind the clock back to friendship after having sex, so I usually say no to that. It doesn’t work that way, not with me, anyway.

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