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The NC rule won’t exactly work for me. My ex and I work in the place, when he started liking me when I was in a bad relationship before him. I gave up the last relationship because I was suffering from it, and then I started with my ex when I’ve realize he’s worth for me to give out my heart. We’ve dated for 8 months. At the beginning he was very attached to me text and call me all the time, he would said stuff like how much he was gifted to have me, looked into my eyes and said “god I love you”, “how did I end up with someone so amazing like you”. He was so proud to show me to his friends and family. Always wanted me over and always help me through my down time. His family likes me more than any of his friends and ex-girlfriends and I like them a lot, too. Two months ago, he got struggled with his life. He was trying to go back to school. He has move in with best friends, he started to have financial issues so he wasn’t happy when I mentioned how much I wanted to have dinner out or a vacation with just the two of us (since we’ve only been to places with a bunch of friends or his families who would pay for us). I’ve started to feel that he didn’t want to talk to me as much or as sweet as he used to. At work he was trying to go for a higher position and then all of the sudden I got promoted to be his manager. A week after my promotion, he broke up with me. This was the 4th but the longest relationship he’s ever had. He told me i was the best girlfriend he’s ever had, he said he still cares, loves me and will be there for me as a friend, but he wasn’t ready for me and that I could find someone better. I was heartbroken and I have been blaming him on how he made me fall in love but then broke my heart and i kept begging him to come back.
Because he told me he is still there for me on any rough day, so I still rely on his attention during this downtime which I’ve been texting him and ask to hangout showing him how needy I am, and I realized the more depressed I sound, the less he wanted to respond. I love him dearly. I would like to start doing NC, but I am a very professional worker so even though I stop any contact with him outside of work, when we’re at work, I still have to communicate to give tasks throughout the day. We work together 4 days a week. Any idea on how I can apply the NC rule in my case?Keep things strictly professional. Don’t talk about the relationship, and don’t show signs of being needy. Smile and be cordial. Keep conversations short. Make yourself scarce (don’t be available). Pretend not to care (even if you do). I work with my ex as well and had to implement these rules. It gets easier but you have to stick to your guns first. Focus on moving on and improving your life. Take the focus off him and onto yourself. Delete his number if you have to, and remove him from all social media. Whatever helps you move on faster.
I’m trying to figure out if it’ll make him miss me still, since we can’t really avoid seeing each other at all?
You can’t “make” someone miss you. Just don’t think about it so much. Continue to live your life and be yourself when he’s around. Be cool and casual. Don’t linger if you have other work to do. Show him that the breakup isn’t devastating you (even if it is!) fake it if you have to. It will take months to feel normal again, but I promise it will pass. I’ve been through it.
I understand what you’re trying to say but my ultimate goal is to have him back as what this website claims to be helpful for. This is my day 5 of NC, since we work together, i only talk about work when i have to. I fully understand I need to focus and improve myself, so I appear very positive and joyful at work unlike how i was the first couple of days after we broke up. I know I cannot make him miss me but as this website says, NC should make him miss me or wonder what I’ve been thinking. I’m just wondering if this will still eventually happen to him (thinking about me) if we still see each other at work?
The point of NC isn’t to make someone miss you. It’s to get yourself together emotionally to a state where you’re not desperate anymore. Every person is different. Sometimes an ex will realize they miss you and want you back but other times, they may still wanna move on even with no contact. It depends on the person and it’s not guaranteed to get your ex back so you shouldn’t get your hopes up. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Yes NC SHOULD make him miss you but it doesn’t mean it WILL, especially if that’s your only objective.
I’m in the same boat.
My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me 3 weeks ago and basically out of the blue. I’m 25 years old and he’s 32. He’s had successful jobs in the past (also has his masters degree, etc) but a year ago he had moved back home with his parents and got a job bartending at a restaurant which is where we met. I know from the start he was disappointed in himself for having to go back to live with his parents and start bartending again.
Anyways, our relationship for the past year has been incredible. No fighting, our parents loved each other and we talked about our future together right from the start.
A week before we broke up, he got distant and said he needs to figure out his life.
Then he called and said he needed to break up with me because he needed to find a place to live and get his career in line since he was down on himself that he was 32 and bartending. I understand where he’s coming from. He’s the oldest out of his siblings and his siblings have incredible jobs and families, except him.
The past 3 weeks have been intolerable. We work together and he’s more than polite (which confuses me to think we will get back together) and the last week he texted me three days in a row which made things very hard for me. We went to lunch last week and he’s depressed. I know he’s not seeing anyone else, but I told him for my sake I can’t be friends right now. I deleted him from facebook and now I’m regretting everything.
I’m not sure how I should act or what I should do to make things better and make him realize I’m only with him to support him! I haven’t texted him for over a week, and he hasn’t either.
I want him back! Please help.
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