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I don’t believe in the 30 day No Contact rule, I believe you need to go fully out of contact until the dumper contacts you.
5 months after the break up I knew she wasn’t going to bother and I should completely move on, so you can imagine how amazed I was when my ex GF contacted me after so long.
She sent me a message on FaceBook asking for “advice”. She’s in a country I went to.
It took me a month to realise she had sent a message, but I still replied.
I replied: “I don’t have much advice other than keep safe and have fun”.
She did reply to that saying she “hopes everything is going well”.
Now I don’t really know what to think about it.
Is she genuinely asking for advice and ONLY advice… or is there an ulterior motive and she’s opening the lines of communication again?
Is she expecting me to contact her now, or might she contact me again – my birthday is in a couple of months(?)
Much appreciated!
I’m not sure if her motive for the first message was to get in contact with you or to generally know if you had advice. But by the sound of her second message I believe she might want to start talking again. It might be nice to start talking to her again if that’s what you want. I’m not 100% sure that she is looking to get back together but on my perspective she looks to be trying to start a convo with you. I guess its up to you to decide if you want to continue the conversation. You never know where it might lead. Keep us updated!
I agree with Leogirl here. It could be a start of something new between you two but at this point you can only speculate as to what this might be. Do you want her back? If you want her back, send a reply but keep it focused on the present, light-hearted and fun. Also try to keep your expectations low (easier said than done, I know), enjoy the ride and see what happens. Any time you guys could catch up in person?
Sounds very similar to my situation: a FB message out of the blue with some sort of an ask/well wish etc. Honestly, we’re both probably reading too much into it. Which just shows that we still care for these people and feel flattered/hopeful that we’ve been on their minds. Sometimes when you wish so hard for something to happen and then give up (I gave up 8 months ago) it happens unexpectedly. I think we’re too shocked at the moment to react the right way so my advice is to take some time before taking this further (assuming you want to do that).
I think shes trying to open up the lines of communication very slowly. In my experience when an ex reaches out they aren’t truly seeking just advice, unless they are in a relationship themselves.
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