-
Posts
-
Hi id like some advice please,
My girlfriend is at uni and has been for 8 months but weve been together for 5 years im 23 and shes 22, i proposed to her and then it freaked her out at bit as we werent that good when i did. She said yes straight away but the next morning it hit her, a couple of weeks later she ended it saying she didnt want to be with me right now. Saying she didnt feel the same anymore because she had felt a connection with someone else for the first time in the time we’ve been together and she needed time to think about what it means, she loves me and cares for me and i love her and shes all I want in life. I have gotten a little jealous while shes been at uni but ive always told her she can do what she wants and never tried to control her. Shes only an hour and half away so i had been seeing her once or twice sometimes even more while shes been at uni. She has not been reciprocating the affection and love id been giving her for a week and a bit before she ended it friday 5th april, when she ended it i asked her to reconsider but accepted it when she said no but then she found out i nearly topped myself the next day through one of my friends (i didnt know he told her but he was worried), she rung me the next night and i told her im okay told her she is right about all of this and we need to just do our own thing now and that i dont want to speak for a bit (starting no contact as your guide says). She told me nothing was permanent and obviously i still want her back, so this is the 3rd day of full no contact (it started friday but she rung on sunday), ive started the gym and as your guide says post max of 5 things on social media i posted a picture of myself after gym smiling saying “back at it” meaning the gym and she has blocked me on instagram cos of this, since yesterday i feel much more composed about the whole situation and am not panicking as much, i have her on fb and snapchat and number still but this has really hit me that shes blocked me, it didnt end nasty at all, i really want to contact her to find out if shes okay, can you please give me some advice as to what i should do?
Should i send her a simple “how are you? “ and if she replies okay i just say “good, just wanted to check you were okay” and carry on no contact from there, if she doesnt reply i obviously just carry on no contact.
How long should i do no contact for? and which elephant in the room text should i use?“i had been seeing her once or twice sometimes even more while shes been at uni.”
What does this mean? Once or twice a week or a month or what?
When did you propose? Did you give her an engagement ring? If so, did she return it?
There should be no jealousy in a mutually loving relationship! You two were together since a young age and she probably wants to see what it would be like with someone else.
I suggest you don’t post on social media in order to get her attention.
NO, don’t contact her now to ask if she’s okay. You need to give her time to miss you. Continue no contact for at least a month and then send it.
She sounds adamant about her decision to break up, so it’s unlikely the elephant in the room will change anything.
Once or twice a week most weeks, she text me yesterday that said “not doing my best today, how sre you” i waited 2 hours to reply and said “im better thanks” she replied with “good”, i later was worried about her so i text her saying “do you need to talk?” She said “no im fine no prob” so i said “hope your okay” she then rang me, i was light hearted on the phone told her this was the right decision for both of us and told her that i dont want her back right now but given time to repair i would like to see her again and take things slow, i also stated clearly that i cant wait forever and if she never sees us being together again she needs to let me know so i can move on with my life, i said if i dont hear off you in the next few weeks ill take it as you dont” she then ended up crying because i also said im thinking about moving to australia with my mate because theres nothing keeping me here anymore she then said im sorry i shouldnt have rung you , the convo ended so i text her saying all i ask is just think about what i said about when the time is right to start a fresh and take things slow, i rung her this morning to check if she was okay i litterally said are you okay, she said yes, i said i do care about you you know, then we said bye. She then text me at lunch saying “thanks for checking up on me x” i havnt replied as i said what i said about needing to know where i stand. Ive started no contact again, do i continue with it until she reaches out now? Do i ignore her if she reaches out? She had also said on the phone that it seems i needed it more than her as ive picked myself up massively over the last week i feel a lot better.
Thankyou for the advice please let me know what i should do about reaching out again? Do i wait? Do i ignore? How long do i wait now?
I proposed about 2 and half weeks before the end, she was happy but it was all temporary, i gave her a ring but it was a temporary ring , i then bought her a proper ring a day later after she said yes which i have since cancelled, she still has the first ring which was £150 the second was £1000 which ive gotten back
You said you bought her a proper ring, but cancelled. Then you say you got it back?
Since she’s the one who broke up with you, it would be a good idea to respond when she contacts you. But if she continues to feed you bread crumbs instead of saying she wants to take steps to reconcile, then tell her you don’t want any contact for a month in order to process the breakup.
Giving her an ultimatum regarding giving her some time to think about repair was probably a good idea, but adding that you’re thinking of moving to Australia seems like you were trying to put extra pressure on her to make a decision ASAP.
I meant don’t post on social media in order to get her attention. Post anything you want, but don’t direct it to her or about her.
Good luck..
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.