Boards Reconciliation Advice on talking to her again and getting her back

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  • #5482
    Paul_15
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    Hello all, well Im gonna go straight to it. I talked to this girl for about three months. She went to my elementary school and she’s my neighbor so we started talking for the first time. She mostly started our conversation, anyway after talking to her non stop for about a month I told her I really liked her but she told me she didn’t know what to do she thought we were friends but she still wanted to give me a chance but didn’t know what to do. That was fine we decided to keep talking and hanging out to see how things went. After two weeks I met up with her after I went to the gym because she ice skates at the same rec center and talked. That night she texted me telling me she actually liked me and said a these really nice sweet things to me and that she thought I looked really cute that day. So the next day I took her out on a date and things went well I got to kiss her and hold her hand and it never got awkward it seemed like we both enjoyed ourselves. Anyway…. About 2 days later she got back into school and I was still in my summer break (we go to different schools). Our conversations were boring mostly because of her she was showing no effort to keep the convo flowing or showing interest which was weird. So about 4 days after our date I was going to meet up with her at the beach with her friend. I got there first and asked her when she was coming and she replied a time and I told her to text me when she got there but she never did… So I texted her if she was still coming and she said “yes we’re here” idk why she didn’t tell me she was there when she sent my brother a snapchat at the beach. So I told her I would leave my friends and meet up with her and asked her where she was and she didn’t reply. I texted again and still no reply I just went anyway and I spotted her an before we made eye contact she got up and went to her car so I asked her friend where she went and she said “to go see some other friends she won’t be back for a bit and doesn’t have her phone” but I kinda knew that wasn’t true so I told her to tell her to text me when she got back. I left and she never texted back. That night she texted me saying sorry her phone had no service which I knew was a lie because she was already texting me before. I questioned her a little bit but never confronted her. I could also tell she lied because her friend just sounded like she was lying and as I walked away she was looking at the direction of her car where my was at… Anyway I asked her why she was acting differently and she told me she thought shed like me more after our date but she doesn’t really have feelings for me anymore and she was really sorry and told me that I should stop wasting my time… This really sucked because she really got my hopes up and literally crushed my dreams within 2 days. I was really bummed the next day I had a lump in my throat the whole day and I didn’t talk to her. This is when I started the no contact rule. I was still really bummed but I only cried once now it was just frustration more than sadness. I was frustrated because how can someone like you for 2 days? Unless she didn’t really mean the things she said… I’m mostly frustrated because I see a lot of ugly guys with really hot gf and I don’t want to sound stupid and all but I’m not that ugly of a person I workout and pretty fit, I have good hygiene and I play lots of sports. Anyway I kept the no contact rule for 2 weeks and a few days ago I see her tweeting stuff like “I miss you but I’m scared to text you” or “I just want the chance to start over and do things right” and that’s when I broke the rule…:(( I texted her…and I didn’t even have a plan on what to say and she didn’t even seem excited to hear from me so I think those tweets weren’t about me… Anyway I’ve think about her everyday (but I’m not miserable without her) and I’m just confused about the whole thing and I really want her because she’s what I’m looking for also if things don’t go my way I still want her in my life to be friends I just don’t know how to go about that. Anyway I just want to know what to tell her before I start talking to her again and just any advice in General would be great! Thanks(:

    #5799
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Hey,
    Restart NC and don’t break it this time.You should follow the 5step plan.
    Do not stalk her during this time.
    Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

    -You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
    -You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
    -You have made a few positive changes in your life.
    -You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
    -You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
    -You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
    -You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

    #5837
    Paul_15
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    I didn’t stalk her It was just on my feed… But thanks! Idk what I should talk to her about to get her back when I do in like a month though thanks!

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