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I sent her the letter, no reply… I sent her flowers and a card, again no reply… I was just starting to get over her, or so I thought, and then I see a clip on the local TV involving her. And now I’m broken again 🙁
Apparently she got a job (at least I think, maybe it’s just an internship). There was a clip on a show, regarding castrating cats. She is a veteranarian and she was interviewed.
She didn’t mention this to me at all. And I know that this is a huge deal for her. She was really upset before, because she didn’t see a future for herself, and now she has a better chance with a new job and all…
What do I do? 🙁 I realize that any cards, or letters, or texts of reminiscence of our times won’t do 🙁 And I also know that she is probably busy with studying right now. Every thought in my head is literally screaming that she is done with me! 🙁
My question is, do I text her and say something like: “Congratulations! I saw you on TV, good job. I am happy for you :)”.
What do I do? 🙁 Do I just let it go? God, I am so confused again 🙁
I am asking for advice and help. Anyone please?
Well, of course once again, I gave in… Love is such a funny thing.
Send her a message, it said: “Saw you on TV castrating cats :). Congratulations on your new job, I now you waited for this chance for a long time. I am happy for you ;). Study hard and be proud of yourself :). Bye bye.”
There was no reply. I know there will be none.
Just wanted to share.
Bye
Hy B86,
If she is being cold and not responding to your messages, your best bet is to do no contact for a longer period of time. Texting her more is only going to make you look more needy. I’ll recommend no contact for a month (preferably two) before contacting her again.
Hey Kevin,
Thanks for your advice, I’ll try to follow it, this time for real. Lately I’ve been feeling kind of down again, and I couldn’t think very straight. And then I end up making mistakes…
Sometimes I feel like I’m annoying everyone with my problems, hehe 🙂 I know there are far worst things in the world happening to people every day. The problem is in my head, not just my ex. I’m not strong enough and I may need some therapy, I can’t do this anymore. I need to make a change for myself and not for my ex. It sounds easy and it really is what your site is all about. But no one can walk the road for me, only I can.
Thank you for your time and this site, it really helps when I feel down. And I know everyone in this community agreees with me.
Bye Kevin, thanks again.
B86,
no contact gets easier, i promise. i was with a guy for 7 years – spoke to him every single day during that time. when we first stopped talking i literally felt like someone cut off my right arm. i didn’t know how to function. that was 5 months ago. there are days its still hard not to talk to him, but overall its much easier now. you just kind of get used to it.
i gave in lots of times before i got to this point. don’t beat yourself up. try to find a friend you can call every time you feel the temptation. staying busy and distracted is the best thing you can do now.Hej atea1234,
Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. I admire your strength, like I said earlier, I am acting like the worst thing in the world happened to me. You were with your partner for 7 years, while me and my ex were together only for 4 months and the 5th month we only hung out, of course only when she was “in the mood” for it. But it does still hurt, it really does feel like a part of me is missing.
I know it gets easier with time. There is now no way we are getting back together and I have to accept it. I agree that I have to be easier on myself. I didn’t mean any harm, god knows I could never hurt her, I love her too much. But I never thought how she must have felt when I texted her after it was over and especially how it must have felt when I ran after her. God, that was so idiotic of me! Worst thing is, it came out completely different than intented and I blew any shot I had with her because of it.
Anyway, I will contact her on her birthday, which is exactly two months from now. Just a happy birhtday text and simple “how are you doing”. No flowers, no gifts, nothing… If she answers, maybe we can be friends again. If not… Then there’s nothing I can do about it.
B86,
i felt the same way. like literally the world was ending. i needed to remind myself of all the positives i still have in my life and that there are people all over the place who have it so much worse than i do. it definitely helps to put things into perspective. and on the bright side – 4 months is easier to get over than 4 years so if it wasn’t going to last then better now!it really does get better in time, as cliche as that sounds. one of my friends told me when i was going through my break up not to beat myself up over slipping up and texting him or spending all day in my pajamas crying. its all part of the process. give yourself 2-3 weeks to grieve and then force yourself to get out and do things. even if its just going for a walk or out for a cup of coffee. that helped me a lot. we all made mistakes in the ends of our relationships but it takes two people to end something so you can’t blame yourself.
i think waiting two months to contact her on her birthday is a solid plan. you can see how she responds and take it from there. maybe she’ll be open to a friendship or rekindling or maybe she wont answer at all. no need to stress about it now because you don’t know how she will react. you’ll see when the time comes. a lot of it is out of your control now. i also have a birthday in exactly two months! I’m really curious to see how my ex will deal with that. only time will tell!
Hey,
I agree wirh the fact that it’s out of my hand. I guess the worst feeling is that I’m the only one feeling sorrow and loneliness, but on the other hand she seems completely fine and happy, and doesn’t miss us being together at all. That’s why I know she’s over me, sometimes it feels like I didn’t mean much to her at all…
I also read your story and I feel that the one thing we share in common is that it’s always us who initiate the contact and never them… It’s really not fair to us if you think about. So I’ll just let it be from now on.
And don’t worry about your birthday 😉 If he cares, he’ll contact you. If not, it’s just like you said, it wasn’t meant to be.
Hey Kevin
My Girlfriend broke up with me end of January, after 7 years of being together. through out the month of February i tried and begged her to come back. she wouldn’t take me back. she mentioned i haven’t given her space for her to miss me, and she even got mad for not respecting her decision to break up with me. i have decided to do the no contact rule this month I’m debating between 21 or 30days to contact her. i have had time to reflect on my relationship and i know she’s the one for me. i just need a chance, i will follow the steps you illustrated. do you think i made things worst by being needy for the month of February when i tried to get her back, and do you think the no contact period will give her enough time to move on to another relationship since it would be 2 moths of her not being in a relationship? I really want to do the right thing this time and win back the woman that has my heart.
Thanks
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