A bit stuck….

@Vanessa9 Thank you for the nice comment 🙂 Really appreciate that!

During our 3 weeks she was always happy, smiling and it seemed as though we where in a relationship after our first date. About 70% of the time she contacted me first, in the morning, midday and a phone call at night. It was a boat ready to set sail for a long, long time it seemed.

She would always ask how my day has been, what I am up too. Most of the time I said I am working as I work as a 3d artist. She would always go “Oh sorry!!! Talk later hun xxx” We would always speak about our day every day. What went on and so on.

Then like I said one falling out with her mom and that’s it. Over, I wish her mom told me they had an argument and not have to ask her cousin what’s going on. (Still have no idea what the argument was about)

I don’t think I met up to her expectation on the wedding day, I should have been more there for her but her being down put me down and I was too scared to ask. (I had asked many times and her response was always “I am just tired”

The 30 days is more for me really, I felt with my family matter and her combined it really hurt me and as she wasn’t there to catch me at all it has put a dent in me. Which I feel is not going to be repaired for a long time.

But I do feel a lot better now because of it! 😀

Need a quick response! Just found that abc is doing a harry potter week starting soon. my 30 days hit today, I was planning to contact her tomz. Should I tell her that its on tonight!?????

THANKS!

Well still no text back. So I can only assume the worst, I am now feeling what was the point of knowing her. Was this meant to help me with something later on with life… Why? I want to let her go but I have this horrible feeling that I will regret it for the rest of my life, or will I regret not letting her go?…. If this was a life lesson all ready planned out, then why now with everything that has happened over the past 2 months. I am not a religious person or believe in fate or any of that at all but sometimes I do wonder.

I think because I don’t understand, I like/love her more whatever this feeling is. There is no logic, structure behind what happened. That’s the driving force to me getting her back. From the moment I saw her smile I was hooked.

I am now listening to my favourite sound track “Cloud Atlas Sextet” thinking of the good times we spent together. I feel somewhat sad and confused at my own emotions. I was expecting to burst into tears, but nothing.

I would assume that a lot of people reading this and my story that the advice would be move on. I would love to say I could and I know I can but I don’t want to, its either denial with myself or my stubbornness to let things I believe in/love go.

I wonder all the time, do good things come to those who wait, right now I feel as though that is utter crap. It’s a saying with no fact or proof behind it, maybe for some but is that just coincidence?

I am thinking too negative, I feel too logical, there’s no such thing as hope or luck. The way things have gone over these past months from feeling the happiest man ever on a boat ready to sail off into the sun set, to the boat hitting an iceberg and still constantly sinking lower and lower every day.

I would love to say “fuck it, if there is something worth fighting for its love” but right now my head is saying its not going to end well, you have no plan of action how do you even expect to get her back.

Any warming advice would be greatly appreciated! Hope everyone is well!

God I really do love going over the top, such a stress head.

30 days ended yesterday which was when I sent the text.

She so childish its unreal, not even just a “thanks”. I bet she looked at it and just ignored it completely. Really angers me that! She knows I don’t care about awkwardness at all but she finds a lot of things awkward.