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Hi all just joined today so feeling pretty nervous sharing on here but from what I have read around it seems like a really mature and friendly place!
Just read though all the traps and no contact info, very useful information! Already know the trap I fell in. (Sounding desperate but more complicated (read on))
Right, I did write all the story out in a word doc but it just dragged on and on, to be fair it felt great to right all that down.
Well I should point out that I have never actually been in an official relationship but it felt a few days before we split that I was in a relationship with her. We had been going out for almost 3 weeks, chatting everyday talking on the phone all the time everything felt and seemed amazing, making plans for going to the zoo and watching football together, she even invited me to a wedding! Now going to the wedding was either a bad move but I thought why not it can only be fun! This is when the brake up happened.
Been about a week since we have spoken (But I have been speaking to her cousin and she has been trying to help me get her back)
The stupid move of me was her cousin invited me to her (cousin birthday) at a club. Now I was going though at the time a really bad personally family matter(and still am). The club night was utter sh*t just ended in a heated argument and the things she said where not towards me at all it was more of what she was saying about herself and when she just walked off and left me there I just broke down completely (This was not just only over her but also this family matter)
I tried making contact with her a couple days after when (this family matter got really, really! bad and I just wanted someone to talk to because she was the only person I had told, not even my friends and still don’t know about this family matter.) but a text replied with the word “stop” in it 🙁
Now I haven’t included a lot as it was a lot more then this but….
To sum it up of what I think is she got cold feet and was scared of getting to close to someone again. Her cousin who I have spoken to said her last boyfriend took control of her and just left out of the blue, in other words just used her 🙁 It’s so annoying because I feel… I don’t know, I was going to say regret, but I feel more like out of sync. (if that makes any sense :P)Not spoken for 2 weeks now.
It seems she needs time to understand her own feelings. Give her the space she needs. Stick to the NC for 30 days rule and go from there
God why did she do this so close to so many events, her birthday, my birthday, Halloween, bon fire, Christmas and new years! I was so excited to spend time with her on these days. This is more me just ranting and getting it out of my system.
It’s annoying because I feel in a rush to get her back to do these things with her but looks like I am defo missing her birthday which makes me so sad.
I am just wondering my birthday is the month after, should I invite her if for example we start talking and its for a good time?
You will probably need to wait until closer to time and decide what is best then. Probably are going to miss her birthday, but if you get back together there will be plenty of future birthdays.
I defo feel I am going to have to do longer then 30 days, week 2 is a couple days over. I think I might add another 30 days on top as I still feel unstable. (Keeping a logical mind is so hard) I feel better but I am getting really anxious to text her. I did write a text out and stopped just before I sent it and gave my phone to my friend to keep it in his room. (Living at uni)
Problem now is I feel lost with out my phone haha 🙁
We never really spoke of social network so I am not having a problem with that, except when I see she is adding new friends (boys). Trying so hard to ignore the feed!
Yes keep going on NC, and well, wait till day 30 if after that you still feel the same way do it for more 15 days. Its up to you, but dont do it for too long, it wasnt a looooong relationship. You dont know her very well and she doesnt know you very well either.
@Laurais13, Thanks you for the response!
I will see how I am after the 30 days. But yeah It wasn’t very long at all but it felt somewhat perfect and all of a sudden cold feet from her. I have done this to my best friend, all of a sudden change of mind about someone.
Its somewhat funny because I did not intent to meet her I saw her at the bar but it was my friend who dragged me over because he liked her friend. (me just being wingman) At the time I was not interested at all, but within a week my feeling got strong and I must of just tossed all the eggs into one basket.
God I miss her smile!
It is so hard. I read your post where you tried to explain your sudden change of feelings for your best friend. That is something that is very hard for me to understand. Is how she was so into me one day, and it vanished overnight. I miss mine too.
You are more than welcome I wish my boyfriend was missing my smile too.
But ya, but let me know how you feel and tell how your day went, dont suffer alone(:
@Sunshine11 Yes it really is a hard thing to explain, even now thinking about it I cannot understand my self of why. I think… the best way I can somewhat explain it is… its like a chalkboard, you can clean it, wipe it completely clean but there is still a faint outline of what was there. God its so hard to explain! So many emotions right now!
@Laurais13
I have two images in my head which is like my bank of truly amazing moments. One was when I went to universal studios florida with my best friend. It was late in a theme park all the lights had come on because it was dark. Just as we were leaving we quickly jumped on “the hulk”. The ride popped out of a tunnel at its heights point and it felt as though time had froze for a few seconds, the view was just outstanding and I felt like I had accomplished a dream.The second one you can probably guess was with her. We had spent a while looking around for somewhere to eat and after an amazing fun meal, I could call it perfect. We wondered out and it was night at this point. While walking down I looked at her and she looked up at me and she smiled and I smiled back and looked back a head. While she smiled at me I felt the exact same feeling of accomplishing a dream in a sense.
I hate waking up sometimes after having a dream about her as I wish I could roll back time! Truly is a killer :'(
At first those moments kills us right? During the last two weeks I was like that, thinking about every good moment…But with time those moments lose its intensity… Your brain is looking for something to feel pleasure, but I hear that when you dream about your ex it means your brain is trying to push them away…
How are you doing today?
In a way we can perform inception on our selves. Thinking about anything in these cases our ex’s. Just before you sleep if you think about something which has significant meaning to you for 5 mins and then think about anything after till you fall a sleep you are more likely to dream about what you pushed into the back of your mind. If I remember its a way of your brain trying to organise it self. Which is a problem because I think of her before I sleep and then I tell me self be cool and begin to think about anything else. Thus dreaming of her some nights.
I can agree with your brain looking for pleasure. No idea about it trying to push them away.
Today has been… ok, this morning I felt like sh*t because of a dream….. But throughout the day I have been mostly good. Just getting really board now, not fully started work at uni yet still mostly lectures and gaining info. Trying to use films to fill up the day but any sort of romance in them just brings her back into my head. So hard trying to keep busy with something when you are bored. (Friends are all like cba to go do things)
How about yourself, how are you doing today?
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