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So, its taken me years to figure him out, why we keep going in and out of love and relationship…
He’s a narcissist!
All the signs finally come to this truth.
And though I love him, both he and I may never be fulfilled with each other.
As much as I can try (now that I know the reason), I often think I would be tired, trying to continually satisfy his needs.
I’m still in NC, for the 2nd time. Still debating whether to try for round 3.
Cause, 3rd’s the charm, right?*sigh*….
*UPDATE*
Officially one week after NC and he texts me.
To sum it up:
He said that he hopes not talking to him was my decision and not what I think he told me to do, as he complained about everything that was wrong with me.He complains because he wants more of me, not less.
He gets scared when I don’t talk about marriage and kids, so when he complains and runs, I abandon him, making his fear come true.
I am not against no contact for a short time it might work. It is however better to be open and talk to each other about things. Hiding away doesn’t solve problems.
In your case it is not clear why you are doing NC in the first place.PS Everyone could be a little bit of narcissist. If it’s combined with selfishness though it could be very difficult to maintain a relationship, maybe impossible.
Been through that for a long long period of time. So i speak from experience and what i read.
I don’t know how many of theese traits(i listed above) your boyfriend has,but he, for sure has at least any.They rarely commit, for real because they need constant gratification and apreciation -and if you re mad at him, he’ll take his dosage elswhere.
It’s all about they’re needs and not about yours. It s about the way you make them feel not how you feel.
They very rarely can understand and accept that you may have other problems besides his promblems or imaginary problems.
If you get back togheter you have to describe to him exactly how you re feeling so he can put himself in your shoes.
He can only understand situations by imaginating that those would be lived by him.
And besides that you should make him understand that you are there by his side, but never be 24/7 his mom, sister, chef so on and so forth.
Try sharing responsabilities with him.And now the good part. Due to the fact that he’s so egoccentric, and percieve you like some pray (that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings) he’ll come back at least to see if you’re still yours.
Never give him reasurances and nothing safe so the ciccle will begin again.
Complicated? Yes it is and you get tired with time. If you re here i guess it s worth it.Maybe because they’re so narcisistic we love them so much .
I hope you find peaceThanks @sfantaadriana, I actually have been doing my research on narcissism and BPD. I can’t believe it takes so much extra effort to do all this research, when all I wanted was to simply love and be loved.
I’m just at a dilemma whether to tell my future concerns or whether I should just accept the moment I have now with him.
Also, trying to figure out when I should break NC. Although 30 days is ideal, his constant contact with me today (none about apologizing and asking me to come back, though he’s told me he misses me) makes me wonder how effective its working on him, the narcissist.
At least I have been using this time to figure out his abnormal psychological behaviour and my own personal prayer and meditation…
@Elanna Yeah, I just might cut the NC earlier, we’ll see.
The main reason I went NC was because of our overnight argument (It was in my past post.) He went to “see” another person for potential dating material.
I questioned where he was, and it got into a heated argument that was mostly him blasting at me for being a liar, that I’m not affectionate, etc etc etc… (whatever I wrote in my last post.)
After all that, I asked where this left us.
He said he wanted to see other people.That’s when I said “Goodbye!” to him and hung up.
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