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Hi all. I successfully completed the long, difficult process that is NC. I did it for 40 days without messing up. 🙂 I reached out with a text, and my ex did not respond.
My question: Has anyone had this experience? Did you reach out again? If so, how long did you wait? Or did your ex text back a few days later rather than right away?
Thank you all for your support.
Hi Alicia, I read your other topics and it seems you’re going through a really tough time. I’m so sorry!
In my opinion, I think the whole point of doing NC is that you get to have that time to focus on yourself, to grow confident again, regardless of what happens at the end of that period. Yes, there is a chance of him no contacting you again, particularly when:
1- he was the one who broke things off.
2- In your other posts you also said he could be dating someone else – an old friend, which would make it easier for him to not think about you as much.
3- He untagged your photos 7 weeks after the breakup.I don’t know your ex, but I’m sorry to say things are looking pretty grim at the moment in terms of getting him back. However, I do know that you shouldn’t contact him again unless he does. The more you contact him, the more he will be convinced nothing has really changed and will feel empowered by any signs you show him of needy behavior (such as texts, etc). The ball is currently on his court and if he doesn’t reach out, it’s really his loss. Believe that. The best thing you can do right now is look in the mirror and start falling in love with yourself and actually make yourself a priority because you’re fabulous. Soon enough, you’ll start to attract people who can see that too. I really hope things work out for the best in your case. If he doesn’t reply, don’t be sad for too long, i just means he never really deserved you and there is someone else out there who will benefit from his stupidity! Good luck 🙂
I’m in the same exact position. I am thinking to give a single call within a week. however if the call goes unanswered it will be sign to move forward. I would say wait a little longer. I am going to try this but I am unsure how well it will work.
Thanks so much for your kind words and for reading my other posts! 🙂 I actually have used NC to better myself and fix the things about my behavior that contributed to the breakup. I feel very confident and have been flirted with, asked for my number, and asked out just in the time since the breakup. I have no doubt I could get a date with someone anytime. It’s more that I just want HIM and no one else lol. The reason I don’t think he will see me as needy is one of the things he complained about was I didn’t give him ENOUGH attention during our relationship. If anything, giving him less now will only make it worse – know what I mean? I want to show him I’ve changed in many aspects, and one of those is being more devoted and committed.
He’s definitely not dating anyone else. His best friends talk to me every day and keep me updated. It’s pretty nice having an inside view of what’s going on.
I hope someone on here is in my situation and can give me some hope!
What was the text you sent? Maybe I can help you! I’ve certainly read enough on this topic in the past few months haha..
I’m in the wrong place, I’m not trying to get back with anyone, I’m trying to move on. I came here because I was trying to find closure and some answer that could explain my ex’s past behavior and I found the people on the forum kind and intelligent, so I stuck around. And I know he won’t be back… and even if he did in any shape or form, I already convinced myself I deserve better 🙂
@Alicia I basically sent her “Hey ___, Rememeber the time you got us locked in a stairwell? The memory of that day in general always makes me smile ahaha. I hope you are doing well.”
It was just a memory of something funny that happened to us on a really memorable and romantic day we had together. IDK if it was a bad text to send but I thought it was super funny to both of us.
Alicia59, I’d say give it two more chances at reaching out. I’d wait a week or two before you try again. I don’t have experience with this. I’m actually in NC right now myself, I will start my first contact text message next week. But anyways, I have read a lot of articles on reaching out to an ex after NC and I think there is definitely still hope for him to respond to you. You just have to figure out what kind of text to send, something so interesting he will feel compelled to respond to.
I think it’s better to call rather than text . I myself called after 26 days of NC and he answered me while he used to ignore my calls and texts before NC.
As they get curious and wondering how we are doing and why we stopped texting and calling, it’s difficult for them not to answer our call at least because of their curosity. But receiving text, they hesitate and think more and may not answer. Also when we call , we understand how they feel about us by their tone of voice.@Marin that is really great advice, a text gives them the upper hand, they know what you are there for can take time to over think and you may get an unfavorable reply or no reply. At least if you have a missed call, the texting after would be more acceptable and a missed call doesn’t put you so far out there, def a curiosity builder. That keeps thing in your control alittle
Right. By calling, we catch them off gaurd . If they still care for us , they don’t wanna miss the call and be the one who initiate the call so that they can understand how we are doing and what is going on.
Also, by his tone of voice even after a few words, I realized he wants to have some kind of connection…But what if they don’t pick up the call? Voicemails can be awkward. And then I’d feel like I’d need to send a text because I never got to say anything to them. And a call plus a text seems like too much for a first attempt…
If they don’t pick up your call, we shouldn’t text nor voicemail. Because by reading text or listening voicemail, they would understand what the intention of your call was . I don’t want them to understand why you called them. They must be curious until you call them again after one week or 10 days . They would finally answer your call , even the second or third time . But wait for one week or 10 days for the next call . No text , nothing…
agree with @marin
call, if they don’t call you back, or shoot you a text, then don’t talk for at least a week. Over contacting after 30 days can almost undo everything you went through for those 30 days because it will give them that “dang they are being needy” feeling and makes your time not talking to them waisted because they have a negative impression already
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