Is feeling like you should give up normal?

Hey dear don’t fret! I’m feeling the same here and I feel that it’s completely normal. Same like you, I wake up everyday feeling like a part of me is missing. It’s like a part of my heart is ripped off completely. I feel like half of me is missing. And I too cannot picture me and him getting back together.

I saw some statistics online that true reconciliation only happen after 6months to 2 years average. I mean the ones that lasts. Because the fact that a relationship failed is because something went wrong in it. If we’re in a rush to get back it will lead to another breakup. If we just sit here and do NC and nothing really change in us.. even if we get to get back together, the relationship still has the same pattern as the one that failed.

I feel that having in mind we should move on is actually a good step forward. It means we accept that, this very moment, we’re are no longer a couple. But that doesn’t mean we never will be. Some relationships went through downhill before reaching the top. It’s just the way life work. By moving on I mean we should learn to have this mindset that we may not be together again soon. But that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Snd of course it won’t happpen if we just sit here hoping and overthinking stuffs . Of course we can miss them.. we can cry.. go on, it’s part of this whole process. But promise me, one day both of us should start living for ourself. Go out with friends, focus on your studies or work, focus on your own future, how you wanted it to be, work on yourself. The all relationship is gone. And we should think this is ‘dating our ex’ again. Not rekindle and old flame that died because it’s the same flame that will die. lol if them make sense! Haha 🙂 I saw in alot of places that when they move on and start loving themselves and their life completely, that’s when there exes come back.

Yes it’s a super hard process and I’m still working hard on it. My mind is clear on what to do but my heart is guiding me to do the opposite.. Argh! Yes I too, rushed to reconcile .. but my ex didn’t give me a ‘duedate’ he just told me in person ‘ If we’re meant to be, we’ll be together in the end’.. I don’t know if he’s just saying it to make me feel better but to me I feel he meant it.. Because he was looking me right in the eyes as he said that.. so I choose to believe that he truly meant it.. what do you think? :/

Some points I’ve gathered :

– I know that our ( both me and you) old relationship is dead , and we have to start off new.
– We have to accept that we may not get together with them
– But it just mean at the meantime, sometimes people take months to years for true reconciliation
– We can live with this thought but we too have to understand that something has to be changed, because the reason why the relationship ended is because there is something went wrong
– We can’t change them , we only can change us , so we have to learn to be truly happy alone , because life is too short and we deserve to be happy, we’re complete without them, they ( or maybe even someone better in the future) is only a little bonus to our ‘complete’ self

Sometimes this is just what will happen to someone’s first serious relationship.. was yours his your your first serious one? For us it is.. That’s are curious of other options.. and also life got in the way. When you’re young you just want to date around, no committed relationships that make them feel it’s ‘holding them back’ , and they just wanna whatever they want. Spending time with friends till late night, make decisions without worrying it may affect us.. This is what I feel is in my ex bf’s mind. Although I really don’t mind at all.. because I know we’re in a diff stage in life now. People grow up, people change. And there’s nothing we can do to change another people. I want to just move on but all those memories are getting in the way.. But at the end of the day we should just have faith, and be clear on what’s the right thing to do for ourselves.. and seriously.. when two people are meant to be, it may take several detours but they will find back each other in the end.. I can’t agree more.

Hey dear! I’m sorry you’re going through this and I want you to know I’m here for you and I know how much it hurts 🙁 An emotional lost is worst than a physical one because you feel it over and over and over again..
I understand you wanted to sent that message so bad but trust me.. don’t! At least not yet! If you sent it now.. what if he says some things that hurt you even more? Will you finally feel so relieved it ended and walk away? No.. right? It’ll hurt so fucking more.

Me and my ex was in a first serious relationship too.. we were each other’s first real love.. but you see, the fact that they broke up with us means that they’ve lost a lot of feelings for us. And we are the complete opposite of their situation, because they ended it, we’re feeling like our whole world is falling apart.. while you know what? They feel like their whole world just started. If we ever begged them again. or trouble them with emotional questions like the one you planned to sent.. you’ll only pushed him away because right now his mind is still not wandering on you like you did for him.

And NC doesn’t mean you’re moving on, it’s just a prove to him you’re moving on and you can’t live without him although you’re just ‘kinda’ over him . Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.. and he need to realised that he’ve lost you for good or maybe just realised you won’t be hanging around wait for him like a dummy.. Boys don’t appreciate that kind girls.. they like the chase , they want things they thought they can’t get. That’s why NC will protect you.. it’ll protect you for saying things you shouldn’t at the time because you’re still in a very emotioanal state. People can feel it in the tone we talk to them, you want to approach him when you’re in a stable and ‘happy with yourself’ mode or wait till he contacts you..

I’m struggling too to make it clear that we me and him may not ever get back together.. Honestly every morning I wake up I still feel so empty.. I’m half a heart without him :/ I want to text him so bad and ask if he wanna try to work things our again.. But my mind is clear on what I should do. They dumped us.. if we ever do things like this we’re just disrespecting ourselves and feeding their ego 🙁 It hurts so much I know I’m still hurting.. but I feel it’s not fair for us to go through all the suffering.. someday when we become a better person we’ll find someone that deserve us, even if they’ve become a better person too already or someone else in this world :/

Hey @scatteredtracks ! How are you doing? Hope you’re staying strong and sticking well with NC. Remember to always be patience. It’s okay to make mistakes in the past it’s just that there’s no use to dwell on it. We should look forward in the future and aim for positive interactions.

I too have the feeling that if we ever tried again we COULD work it out. But at this moment they don’t want us to be in their lives. Sad to hear right? :/ But it’s just a true fact that we have to gain now. But note that I said ‘at this moment’ ! 🙂 Sometime people need to experience what they thought are better before they finally realised it isn’t . So take this time apart to GROW dear. I mean really, just have faith that everything will be okay. I know memories keep popping up and every songs remind you of him , and it’s really okay to miss him, but you must learn to be happy without him. I still have a lot of work to do on this too.

Well if we’re really made for each other, we’ll end up together even after we end up dating other people. I would rather really give it time to really become a better person and try again with him then getting back with him now and because nothing eally change it’ll only turn into another breakup and this time no turning back :/

Aww I understand completely what you’re going through 🙁 I actually felt the urge to just let it all go. I mean he was my first serious boyfriend, my highschool sweetheart, my closest person on Earth, my best friend. Now I feel like I’ve lost everything. I don’t even have someone that would be willing to hear me out. They thought I was the one who was loving him too much when in reality it wasn’t like that at all.. I was there for him when no one else was. He was too. We knew everything about each other and still loved each other’s flaws. I enjoyed myself loving him because anyway.. I don’t have any close friends :'( I literally feel so alonein this world..I know he agree on this point top because we were so alike.. he used to don’t have any close friends too without me. But eventually he found a group of friends in college and I don’t have any.. It hurts so bad it made me depressed. And he’s a guy he can get through loneliness better, and I can’t.. But my class ended for now and he’s still in college. Also, That’s why towards the end I end up depending on him too much.. Because I feel alone in college.. but all along we were really doing great, we love the same things and enjoyed the same food. His mother treat me like his daughter and his bro is my best friends too. Argh..sometimes these memories are killing me. :'(

Yes I feel we really should move on so that we can be happy without them. I meam of course we miss them but we cannot forgot that we should love ourselves too. Sometimes I really wished to just tell him: ‘I miss you as my best friend, can we be that again? ‘
But then I realised, I cannot do that. I’m not strong enough to do that. Because I still want him to be the first one I will call when I’m happy and when I’m sad. I want to share with him, how’s my day and I want to know his, too. I want to tag him in photos that remind me of him without hesitation. You used to do that too, remember? And I know I can’t accept, when I know there’s gonna be there for him thorough everything. To sit on the passenger seat I used to seat and hold his hands and get his kisses and lie on that side of the bed that uses to be mine.. no I can’t accept this all I’m crying while writing this :'( Sorry for mumbling it’s just a rainy and sad day here and I miss US so much …

I feel there’s nothing we can do now besides staying strong. I don’t have any friends that are that close enough to hangout with me everytime .. but at least I have family that loved me. We just have to have faith that everything would be better soon. But for now we still need to learn to pick ourselves up. For me I have to study as I have an exam coming soon.. how about you? Are there any task that you need to complete? I wish we twp could just catchup for a drink haha.. Although it’s possible that we must have been living in different parts of the world 🙁 Anyway I just tagged him in a video of a cute dog, because we used to love dogs alot. I’m not expecting anything back . I didn’t text him I just simply want to let him see that cute doggy. Maybe he’ll think of the times when we took care of a rescue dog together and the way my eyes always light up when I see a dog :’)

* genuinely gonna wish him 🙂