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Just some quick background info for those who dont know me:
We lived in different cities, over an hours drive apart.
I was planning on moving there. She quit her job to go back to school and get a new part time job. There was a lot of stuff going on in her life. I suspect this to be the reason for the break up. Combined with grass is greener syndrome.
Its been 10 months now. Most of it in NC.Now I have found a new amazing job, very close to her. And I am looking for a place to live in her city as well, so I will be moveing one of these days.
I posted about the news on Instagram (she still follows me)
Nothing happend.
The next day I made a longer, more detailed announcement on my facebook about this new great job oppotunity. I never wrote what the new job was about. Trying to be a little mysterious 🙂 (I removed her on FB in the past, but I think she still check out my page once in awhile)The next day I recieved a text from her.
Her: Hey you 🙂 Saw you landed a new job (saw it on Instagram) Just wanted to congratulate you on it, whatever it is 🙂
Me: Thanks a lot. That was very sweet of you. I am very exited, though everything is very busy for me these days
Her: – She talked a little about some other stuff I am up to –
Me: Yeah, and just sold my house as well, so I am moveing very soon. And started the new job yesterday. (Then I told her what the job was)
Her: Wow you are really on a roll! 🙂 Great to hear how everything is just working for you. Great job!After this we texted a little more back and fourth. It was basicly her asking me questions and me replying nicely. There was a ton of simleys in every text. (When she broke up with me she stopped using them in her texts because she “didnt want me to get the wrong idea”)
And here comes the funny part:
I told her how hard it was these days, because there is a long drive to her city so I have to get up really early. And she replied:
Well let me know, I am not doing anything. So you are welcome to come here and say Hi if you want 🙂What??
Last I heard she had a looser boyfriend (clearly a rebound) Guess he is out of the picture. I tried to avoid the invtation and talked about some other stuff in the text.
Its been 2 weeks now. Still havent heard anything from her.Thoughts on this?
I think she put the bait out there with the invitation so she may feel she has done her part by 1. reaching out to you first and 2. by inviting you to see her. She put the ball in your court. I’d offer a coffee meet up. Make sure you look your best. I would offer it sooner rather than later. It has already been 2 weeks.
Looks promising @creed but also confusing. Maybe you should reach out and see. I do think she must have reached out for a reason.
I’m in a confusing place myself now could you please take a read and give me some insight I’m confused and any help would be appriciated thanks
Like @blue said you should do this soon
Here’s my latest story would appriciate some advice
Or…..
She could do it to stroke her own ego.
She just got out of her rebound relationship, and needs to feel wanted.
That is my major concern.Only way you’ll know is if you actually decide to meet up with her though.
I’m with Blue too, just message saying you’ve been busy and would you want to meet for a quick drink. What’s the worst that could happen?
@CreeD after my ex’s rebound was beginning to fail I did notice a lot of more attention from her side onto me and it did make me think if I was invited back in the picture because her attempt to replace me had failed so I waited a while let her pop up again and in my opinion I can relate to you because my ex went through GIGS and she rebounded claiming we had become too repetitive so maybe wait a while and it does take a bit time of time with my experience it was 3/4 weeks between each interval that she reached out to me so just hold on there a bit and begin limiting the conversations so you are always ending the conversations and make it related to a new change. What I did was say was how I need to be leaving because I’ll be going out so I’ll talk to you whenever and it plays on her as to what you’re up to. If she really wants you she will pop up again even though you said you’ll talk to her another time. Then and only after 2/3 reach outs from her side do you accept her invite 🙂 let her invite you again and accept that 🙂
@CreeD when you told me you were busy and couldn’t reply to me even I was wondering what you had going on in your life looool so congratulations man keep doing you 🙂
Hi guys.
So just an update from me.
I did like you adviced me to. I contacted her this time, as I havent heard a peep from her since my last update. I know she is very busy as with her exams.Anyways. I had an excuse to contact her. It was business related, as she had been doing business with my new company in the past. So I texted her about that. Didnt quite go as I expected, as she had found a new company to do business with, and they could offer her alot more then I could.
So then there was silent for a few hours.
So I turned the conversation away from the business talk, and over to her and asked her how her exams went.
We texted a lot back and fourth. Some rather long texts from both of us, were we talked about what we were up to and such.
She just had some new model pictures taken and I asked if they were good… She reaplied “you havent seen them” and told me she really liked the result. If I wanted to check them out I could visit her sponsors website, her own fan page on FB or her personal FB.
I checked out her sponsors website, and complimented her on them. (Note: I did not visit her pages, only her sponsors)Throughout the entire conversation I kept in mind that I should be friendly and open with her, but not being to avaible.
I told her that I still havent found a place in her city to live, but tomorrow I was going there to look at an apartment. Note: I kinda hoped she would ask me over again when she heard this. This time I would have accepted the invite. But she didnt invite me.
This time I didnt end the conversation by not replyinng. I just let it fade out on its own like it naturally would when texting with a friend.
Thoughts so far??
@CreeD … So I’m gathering you want her back then?
The reason it seems like it’s going no where is because you’re the one chasing her. Girls hate that, trust me.
I’m also gathering she dumped you, no? This is another reason why you shouldn’t be chasing her at all.
The only real thing you can do in a situation where a girl, not necessarily an ex, blows you off or rejects you (i.e breaks up with you) is to back off and never look back. She’s pretty much dead to you.
A girl who likes a guy or is interested in him will literally put herself in your orbit. She’ll make small moves like contacting you first, to put herself there and expect you to ask her out.
Because you’re going out of your way to contact her, she doesn’t need to do a thing and knows she’s got you on a leech.
My thoughts on what you’ve written:
Your conversations aren’t going anywhere. It’s just a friendly to-and-fro.
Text messages aren’t there for conversations, they’re there to set up and confirm dates or meetings.
In my opinion you should be dropping off her radar completely, letting her know you’re not there and if she doesn’t contact you you’re gone forever. If she doesn’t like it and starts to think “maybe I made a mistake” she’ll come back I can guarantee that.
Keep us posted.
@solidturd
You havent read the topic havent you?? 🙂I read this “Well let me know, I am not doing anything. So you are welcome to come here and say Hi if you want :)” and I literally face-planted.
COME ON MAN!
You think that was an “ego boost”, are you serious?! You blew her off completely.
WHEN A GIRL LIKES YOU SHE’LL PUT HERSELF IN YOUR ORBIT TO MAKE IT EASIER. She literally put herself on your doorstep, but you blew her off!
Now she’s probably thinking “OMG maybe he doesn’t like me after all” and has gone to her GF’s who have said the same thing.
I really don’t know what you’re doing on this forum: are you looking to move on? are you looking to reconcile? are you here for an ego-stroke?
Please tell me, rather then respond with “You havent read the topic havent you?? :)” which, unfortunately for you, is coming across as a rather snide remark…
Sorry mate. In that case I misunderstood what you were trying to say.
So to sum up you now think I was too hard to get, and that lowered my chances?
Yes I wantus to be together. But being to easy to get havent really worked well for me in the past 🙂You’re not “playing hard to get” lol, you’re acting like a friend to her – a non-interested friend actually.
She literally asked you to come and see her (because she’s interested in you and put herself in your orbit), but you were unable to realise it (because of your lack of knowledge with women) and blew her off completely.
Now, like I said, she probably thinks you just want to be friends and aren’t interested any more.
You’ve got a lot to learn:
First, the guy she was dating, who you call a “loser boyfriend and clearly a rebound” wasn’t a rebound at all. He was a guy your ex met when things were going shitty in your relationship. As soon as all the feelings she had for you disappeared, she got with the other guy. Girls do this almost all the time.
Secondly, soon after realising her new boyfriend was a wuss and knew nothing about women either, she decided to fall back onto the one thing she liked (i.e you). She reached out to you and put herself in your orbit.
Instead of answering to her “Well let me know, I am not doing anything. So you are welcome to come here and say Hi if you want :)” text with something like “How about you bring your gorgeous face over here with a bottle of wine and we can make dinner together ;)” you BLEW HER OFF.
Bottom line is you’re not congruent and you definitely aren’t centred. What I mean by that is you want her back, but you don’t show it or are too afraid to show it because of possible rejection.
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