Proof of NC working!

Helloooo!

So I thought I would post a comment like this because I know how hard no contact for me was – but it managed to get my ex back.

Brief history – my ex (now boyfriend again) dumped me 3 months ago because (what he told me at the time) was that he wants to be single, too young to be in a serious relationship, wants to explore other people…you get the drift.

obviously, I was a complete mess, as it was coming up to our 3 year anniversary, and we had just done long distance for a year and survived it ( he was 17 hours plane journey from me)

So I decided with the advice from my mum to go no contact. nothing. no texts, calls, dropping his stuff off at his house, no begging, pleading. I was dead silent – and so was he.

I can’t begin to tell you the temptation I had to message! I was literally everyday for 3 months saying “hmmm maybe i’ll text him today, maybe ill text him tomorrow, what shall I say?” – but I would always tell myself I was better than that, and with the support from my friends and family, I didn’t contact him at all.

That is, until 3 months after, when his family pet died.

If I’m honest, by this time although I still knew I loved him and cared for him, i had pre-occupied myself with so many other hobbies and friends that I wasn’t even fussed if I got a reply – i sent him a condolences message, and at the end said hope work and everything was okay and I thought that was that – I wasnt expecting a reply, and if Im honest I didn’t really care anymore – I had learnt to love and appreciate myself again 🙂

Needless to say he did reply, and after meeting up once for a quick coffee, he then went on to admit that the past 3 months WITHOUT ANY CONTACT WITH ME made him realise how little he had appreciated me, and that he realised how much he loved me and wanted me back. I was so shocked!! Now we are working slowly back into building a relationship together, and I couldnt be happier.

The point of this post was not to brag about getting my ex back, but to state the importance of no contact! In my situation, it made him realise what he had lost and what he was missing – if you don’t let them experience life without you, how will they miss you and appreciate the time you were there with them?
So I thought I would share a bit of advice that got me through no contact for 3 months….

1. cliche, but start something new, a hobby, anything! and engulf yourself in it.
2. Learn to love and appreciate yourself! I had realised how much i had depended on my ex when we were together the first time – now I realise how strong I can be, and its given me a huge amount of respect for myself, and he respects me more now too.
3. One week no contact isnt enough. It may feel like it is, but it isn’t. Please try to be do longer, a month at least.
4. Don’t try to ‘rub it in their faces what they are missing’. its obvious that you will be doing that! Just go out and have fun! (and maybe post a few pics up obviously :P)
5. Go on a date (or even get tinder). it will help talking to other people and boost your confidence 🙂
6. if you do meet up, act cool and confident, and don’t mention getting back together. Show him or her the new and improved, confident you (who doesnt need them!)

Thats about all I have, but thought I would post something like this for those who are starting no contact and feel as though there is no hope – because there is! even if the outcome isn’t getting your ex back. 🙂