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Hi, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I have given it 5 months time. I did 3 series of NC. I’ve sent her the magic letter, a pencil drawing, flowers, some apologies, congratulated her on the new job… I know it’s not exactly what Kevin suggests. But now I know nothing would do the trick anyway. In all this time I received no reply from her, expect for a mail of humiliation, telling me to literally f**k off.
She has unblocked me on fb, I sent her a friend request, which a couple of days later, she denied. Still don’t understand why she would unblock me in the first place…
Saw numerous photos and quotes on Instagram, thought they were meant for me, apparently they weren’t. The latest was her selfie, under which she wrote: “Every time I trust somebody, they show me why I shouldn’t.” From what I’ve heard she had a new bf. He broke her heart or whatever… I know it wasn’t a rebound, because she isn’t the type to get involved with someone, unless she thinks it’s for real. So now I’m her ex-ex bf…
Her birthday is coming up in a week, I won’t send her anything, not even a text.
I love her and I hope we both find happiness. But I’m done with trying for her.
I will update my status if anything changes, though I’m pretty sure nothing will.
Wish you all a nice weekend.
I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve it. She didn’t even thanked you for the gifts. Do that, she doesn’t deserve you giving her any more attention. I hope you get stronger and stronger everyday, and be happy! Don’t “find” happiness. It comes from within 🙂
But in terms of a happy relationship, yeah. you will find it I’m sure. You seem like a loving guy. The right person will love and cherish you for that. Don’t let this bring you or your confidence down. What happened, happened, and now she is the one ruining it all. It’s about her not you
Hey kaila. Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Well, all in all, she is a wonderful woman. And I still believe she’s the love of my life, at least I haven’t met anyone like her yet. That’s why I tried to show her how much I cared for her. I’m not perfect, I know that, but on the other hand, neither is she or anyone else. We all have our demons and problems, and I embraced her for what she was. The good days and the bad days, the mistakes etc. She just didn’t feel the same…
It’s a shame, because we were great together. And it’s so hard for me to explain why I still care for her so much. She changed her profile picture on fb, in which she is sitting on a dock on the lake, looking into the distance. I just wish I could sit next to her, squeeze her hand and hold her next to me, and just whisper in her ear that everything is ok and that I’m always there for her. Does it even make sense, how can I still feel this way after everything she said to me :(? Only now I trully realize just how much I love her. I only want her to be happy 🙁 Even if with someone eolse.
And I guess it doesn’t hurt so much that she doesn’t want to be with me. It just hurts that she thinks I’m such a bad person. And it’s a shame, she will never understand how important she was (and is) to me 🙁
You should feel good about yourself that you’ve tried your best and know that there is nothing more you can do about it. It’s better than giving up right from the start.
You really sound like a nice person and it’s her fault for not seeing it. You shouldn’t regret anything you’ve done. You know that you’ve done everything you could and you should feel good about yourself 🙂Hey Oshi,
Thank you 🙂 It means a lot hearing something good from people who understand what it feels like to really love someone and then lose them.
And it’s true, I really did try my best. I can’t do more than that, doesn’t matter how much I would like to. I guess by giving up, I can only respect her decision to let it be and just move on already, leave her alone. It’s been tough for me the past five months. When I look back, I really didn’t follow much of Kevin’s plan, about feeling better about myself first 🙂 Emotions are kinda tricky like that…
I’ll try to remind myself daily to just remember the good times we had and learn from any mistakes I’ve made, then just try my best not to repeat them with the next girl I meet.
Thanks again, I wish each and everyone on this site that their plans to get back their ex, goes as smooth as possible 🙂
hey man I’m not actually sure its over yet! kevins method isn’t exactly for every girl.. certain ones u need to do a lot longer NC and let them comeback to you after they’ve realized what they’re missing out on. i know this might be challenging but NC her for a good few months and see if she starts coming back to you again! in the mean time you can try to move on and meet other people if you choose! for certain types like hopeless romantics if you had a good relationship then a lot of times they’ll comeback!
and i know you said he isn’t the type to rebound but i think her last relationship was dude. Just because she is the type not to get involved unless its for real but its possible and likely she didn’t even know it was a rebound! let her be for a while, see what happens!
Hey Phonis 🙂
Well, that’s what I plan to do. Just leave her alone and see where it goes from there. I definitely don’t want to get my hopes up with her though… I’ll focus on myself, and just do something nice for myself for a change.
And who knows, maybe you’re right. Maybe in time she’ll realize what she left behind, after there will be no further contact from me. Everything I experienced with her means the world to me. And you know, despite how she denies it, deep inside I know it also means something to her. Only time will tell if that’s enough.
Anyway, I will let her initiate the first contact… I’ve done enough at this point 🙂
I am surr she is subconciously comparing the two of you… And by time she will realise you were a better person. The problems in her relationship will emerge…
Sometimes you have to try the bitter taste to appreciate the sweet taste…
I agree with your plan though. Go on with your life and see how things will happen.
Good luck, hope all you wish comes true…Thank you dear. We all have so much in common on this site, feels good to know none of us is alone.
I think the best way to go through this, is to just stop worrying and analyzing her behavior. Because looking at her posts and trying to understand them is not a good idea at all. Only she knows what she feels like, and what everything she posts on social networks really means.
I really hope that your wishes come true as well 🙂 Every person deserves love <3
Just my 2 cents : Do NC and delete your facebook,whatsapp,instagram and focus on yourself…
She will be back in 90 days or less,if she won’t than she never loved you.
It will help you to move on with life. Even though saying is easy but I know its very hard thing to do.
But don’t loose hope..:-) wish you most and more
Hey kalicooldude,
Well I actually only have a facebook account, I occasionally check her Instagram account, because she has it on public view. I think what everyone says is really true – your ex is like a drug to you. You think you need them, but in reality you’re just hurting yourself, because you’re addicted to them.
And I just wanna share something. This weekend was one big pack of lol’s, it’s all just getting ridicilous – I sent her a fb friend request a couple of days ago, after she unblocked me (after more than 3 months). She waited a couple of days, then denied it. Friday evening I was checking her profile, and I accidentaly clicked “Add Friend”. I deleted the request immediately, but I think she still received the notification on her e-mail. Then, sunday morning I woke up, and I saw she also sent me a friend request, but deleted it. I know it was by accident, but on the other hand it means she was checking my profile at 1 a.m. in the morning. Then yesterday I saw her new bf (or new ex-bf, whatever) liked one of her photos and she liked his in return.
I think Jasminka86 was right, she is comparing the two of us in her mind, and it’s starting to look like I’m her backup if it doesn’t work out with the new guy. To tell you the truth, it’s starting to get on my nerves, she is playing games. Posting quotes, liking them… I don’t know what to think anymore, some days I want her back, other days I wish I could just get her out of my mind. I know I hurt her, but never in the way she hurt me back. And the difference is that I apologized for everything and tried to make up for it because I cared, she on the other hand never really cared at all.
I don’t really know if it’s a good idea for us to get back together, even if it were to happen 🙁 She has issues, and I can’t resolve them for her. She needs to do that herself. And if it takes too long, she is going to loose me. Maybe she even doesn’t realize that yet… If we were to ever get back together, it’s going to be under my terms as well!
Time to move on with my life for now. Thanks kalicooldude, best wishes to you too 😉
You still have feelings for her,that is the reason you explained so much in detail.And I know the feeling very well.
Leave this on time it will either heal or will bring her back. So leave it on time and focus on yourself.
But don’t stop caring and don’t become cocky.You will be fine after sometime,she will sure check on you,once you become invisible for sometime.
Just go underground for 90 days and trust me on this.No facebook no instragram or no social media at all.
Of course I still have feelings for her. I didn’t mean to come out cold in my last response. I love her with all my heart, but it’s just getting so hard for me now. We already broke up once before, had a nasty fight, but we started hanging out after about two weeks, and less than two weeks into that, we got back together. And the bond felt stronger than ever.
But now it’s different. It’s been 5 months of trying and waiting, and now there’s a new guy in the picture.
I love her. That’s just about the only thing I’m sure of. But it’s very hard to wait for someone to change their mind or at least show that they care about losing you. With her I’m just not sure anymore, her actions are confusing the hell out of me.
I know you mean well, and I’ll follow your advice. Thank you! My mind is still cloudy because of everything, and someone else’s point of view definitely helps. My emotions are still screwing with me…
Thanks again, I’ll be sure to update my situation 😉
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