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Last week my ex after not talking to her for a week called me out of the blue. She said she was missing me and was depressed that I was doing good without her. The next day she was working in my area and wanted to stop by and see me. She wanted me to hold her and said I make her feel better when she’s down. This weekend we texted a bit and she initiated texting me on one of the days. My question is she using me as an emotional crutch or do u think she’s questioning the break up? I feel like I can’t tell her about my problems but she can tell me hers. We haven’t talked in a couple days and I’m not contacting her until she contacts me. Any advice would be appreciated
You are doing great in my opinion if you are working on yourself and improving things for self, and it is all working in your favor. I would suggest you to continue doing same, clearly she is confused – hot and cold which mean she wants to get back but will need time to be clear on this. Let her initiate things and stay as good friend for a while, without thinking much about relationship for the moment. This is called limited contact and it would be helpful for her to realize what she is missing, as long as you are happier for yourself and can look confident and positive. Have patience as it is worth of really and wait a while, it all going to be good for you. Hope this could help and post if you have further questions, good luck.
Thank you for your advice. I think being patient is the best way. I’ve messed up a couple times when things were looking good and I got to ahead of myself. It just slowed things down. She knows how I feel and I’m waiting until she comes to me. I feel like I have a chance but I have to show her I’m a better person not just say it.
She contacted me today. Talked for almost an hour. She seemed more engaging than I can remember. There was no relationship talk which was nice not to rehash the past. She was even joking around with me a little. Its been so long since we just caught up and talked like that. It did make me more hopeful for the future but I’m just going to take one step at a time. Things just feel different since last week when she said she missed me. I’m still not going to contact her often as I don’t want to overdue it. I want her to keep missing me. I will have to see her soon,my car insurance is in her name. Last time I did we ended up having sex and that made things worse. My question is what if she wants to again? How should I deal with that? I don’t think I can say no. She might not even want to but need advice just in case
So it seems going great for you, as such long talk mean it’s working in your favor. It’s good that you are not initiating contacts ans she is doing so. And about the meeting, ideally it should not be too engaging initially but if you can not say no, I would suggest to be happy version of yourself while being with her. Having sex mean engaging too much, and it would be more appropriate if things become better in relationship before that. You may plan something at same time and gently make the meeting short while saying to her that you have some other engagements. It is really best to take things slowly which you are already doing, and if too much of engagement happens or anyone thinks to get intimate as of now, it could cause emotional breakdown to any of you and may make things worse in my opinion. Stay friendly, be nice and let it go slow. Wish it could help you.
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