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So, me and my ex went out for 6 months. She was very close with her ex boyfriend and had her best friends beg and plead to me that it meant nothing. I didn’t care and I ended up trusting her.
The breakup was lame. She ended it because she wanted space, asked if I had an ex to go back to, asked if I would care if she hung out with her ex when I tried getting her to stay.
Before Valentine’s and her birthday yesterday, I was steady no contact for almost a month. Now she’s posting pictures with her ex on Instagram. Not exclusively but they’re together and its making me so anxious.
I’m blocked on every social media, phone number, you name it. I got drunk and dared her to, about a month ago. “If you don’t want me just block me everywhere. Just forget about me.” What a bonehead move, but I apologized and begged to no avail.
So here we are. Do I break NC at the month mark next weekend? I’m more than convinced she went back to her ex. And I can’t ask our mutual friend because she blocked me along with my girl.
I can’t mail her, I don’t have her apartment number.
Any suggestions?
Man I think all you can do in that case is hope the Ex is a rebound and will end rather sooner than later. Also, it doesn’t have to mean they are back together if they are hanging out now because they were friends the whole time and maybe he is just there for her as a friend. You can’t know and it really doesn’t matter too much I’d say. But you’re in a bad situation right now, I understand that, because she obviously doesn’t want to spear or hear from you right now. I think you just have to hope she misses you and initiates contact herself (because you literally can’t, because you have no way of contacting her). If you stepped over those boundaries, you might look like a stalker. I think the only chance is keeping up NC and hope she misses you along the way and will unblock you and stuff. Really can’t see another way because, right now, she doesn’t want to see you (hence the blocking etc.). But stay positive, there’s a good chance they are not together and even if they were, could be a rebound.
It depends how long she was with the ex for…if it was a close relationship for a long time, or ended for reasons that were not due to their own but more because of other commitments and not the fact they don’t care about each other anymore, then it could be bad news for you. I’m only saying this to stop any false hope – I really think that in this kind of situation you shouldn’t contact her, and wait to initiate contact. If shes been good friends with her ex (and I know because I’ve been in the same boat), she obviously still wanted him in her life, and whether or their feelings remained the same for each other but were just hidden for all this time may be something you need to think about.
I think the best thing to do is to not contact. If she wants to contact you and if she misses you, she will. If not, then you’re better off without her, as her heart may have been somewhere else all along without her even realising. (speaking from experience here – hope I dont sound mean!)
They were together for five years but she broke up with him to be single and date. We were together 6 months we broke up because she’s busy with med school and I needed space to get a new job. She freaked when I asked about their friendship and even told me at the breakup she had no feelings for him and “wasn’t down for being friends with two exes.”
NC has been cool, I totally have a life. I sent her a birthday message on LINKEDIN (lol) for her birthday, still been a month NC. I’m talking to another girl now, quit drinking, working out, new job — the main problem we broke up on my end, she was too clingy but accused me of the same.
I told this new girl that I’m still caught up on the ex and how it ended. She just thinks my ex is a terrible person. I’m not buying it either way but I can’t help but think if I go to her after a month, probably two NC with a chill letter she won’t consider it stalkerish.
On one hand I’m thinking she’s creating a wedge to justify her lies (crazy) but then I think she’s doing it because she still has feelings (also crazy) but is still pissed about the way things ended. I got drunk, talked shit, apologized and wound up blocked.
Idk this is such a shit situation.
feelings for the ex after they were together 5 years wont just vanish, especially as they were still in contact. See what happens…dont contact, as she will need space to think about it and you chasing after her will not help. This was shown also when she blocked you! but it sounds as if your better off with the new person if Im honest! Patience is a virtue. Don’t contact her and see what happens – if she unblocks you and contacts, shes worth it. If not, then maybe your better off without her and the baggage of a 5 year relationship that might have still had a bit of a hold over her.
Thanks for the reply, I’m not really into the new girl at all. Just trying to make healthy choices. And I’m super honest with her.
I don’t know. I believe her. I believe she needs space but the way things ended sucks. She made it seem like she wanted me to fight for her before blocking. “You could have given it space first then get me back.”
I know there’s a strong connection between us, I’m not delusional. And I’m pretty damn good looking. Ha. But I just need to respect her and wait.
But I’m telling you after 3 months NC if she hasn’t reached out I’m sending a letter or going to her place.
I know I’m going to want her after that wait. Just everything about her except the blocking makes me weak.
And like is it weird she goes from telling me super dark personal secrets about past abuse in her and her BFFs family then to this? It’s like, she really soaked me up and hung me out to dry.
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