He says he would like to get back but…

[Oshi]

@nycor If your ex’s starting to open up to you then I think you should be there for him and comfort him but keep playing it cool. I hope things turn out well!
I think should decide by your relationship with him right now whether it would be a good decision to give him that gift or not (though it sounds so cute!).

@kaila How are you doing? Is there any progress?

[kaila]

Hey everyone. So I haven’t been here much ah? Well there are HUGE news. But I didn’t wanted to get ahead of myself. And now I see I ‘ll still need help. Much of it.

So last saturday there was that event. I felt really bad for not going as, I thought, this was the perfect opportunity to get close.

So, later that day our mutual friends band was having a concert. I went with them. One of them is the mutual friend I have talked previously. We really connect, she and I used to go to the gym and all that.

Anyway He texted at dinner time saying sorry that I couldn’t go bla bla bla. I said no problem, and told him where I was. He said he wanted to come too but this were running late. I said concerts were running late too so he had time for sure. We texted a bit back and forth, I took it as a great sign he was texting me instead of any of his 6 friends that were also there. Lol.

He arrived and of coursed I went like “aaaah” like I saw an angel from heaven appearing in the middle of the crowd LOL. In my head, of course. I acted normal.

I got sad for a bit, thinking “great now we are here not even together”. But I only let that last a few seconds and thought I’m just going to be my happiest most confident self. I laughed, enjoyed the concerts, talked to people, tried to show how nice I am to everyone. Just enjoyed myself, and got a few drinks ahah, that helped too. The concert ended me and the girl went outside where there were these big tables and shortly after I got a text from him askign where we were. There was this seat beside me (HOW PERFECT?!). He came, and sat down. A bit later got up, another guy came, asked if he could sit. He went like nooo I’m there! xD I was like great! Now I know he really wants to be by my side eheh. So I kept being the HAPPIEST, MOST CONFIDENT person EVER. There are a lot of little cute details I could get into. Lets say he kissed my head when I spilled a drink all over me, I gave other guys some attention, and a guy was texting me and HE LOOKED! Everything was going perfect! He was really really near me, and he didnt need to. He was leaning towards me, his arm was basically in front of me, I even rested my head on his shoulder a bit eheh.

NOW it’s where it gets interesting! Most of our friends went to see another concert. Me, him and another guy stayed. I was thinking “I should go”… but I felt so good there, it felt the best to stay. We talked about motorcycles for like 20 min…
Theeeeen…. I said something about that theme which I dont even remember now. He looked at me, answered to what I said… And fuckin STARED! Now, this is how he first ever kissed me. I was like oh boy…. It’s THAT look! XD I was like omg looking around. He stretched his arm to hug me, I did too, I said “I miss you a lot” and he INSTANTLY KISSED ME. Like right away! Ihey! 😀 <3

I was a bit aprehensive but he asked “let’s see how it goes?” and I said yes. We proceeded to make out agressively in front of everyone with them making jokes. But we just didnt care xD we were looking at each others eyes, like we were so in love. I said to his ear that i liked him… he hesitated and said he likes me too. I truly think he wanted me to have said I love you. And I wanted SO BAD. But I was afraid to put pressure on our relationship. So this is my first question -> Should have said I love you right away? And go for it with no fears?

He asked if I wanted to stay that night at his house. I said yes. Again I was apprehensive but went and he didn’t really try anything. So I felt great about that. Cause I didn’t want to rush things.

Next day he took me home, I had some stuff with friends near a place he hangs out with his normally. So I said if he went there we could meet later. We did, were together for awhile and went home.

Monday, I waited for him to text first. Good morning text 🙂 So good! He has been generally the one to text good morning ever since. We werent together, I didnt suggest it, and Im proud 🙂

Tuesday, he was the one to ask me if I wanted to meet. We were together for a few hours and he took me home.

Next day he already had plans, I didnt ask even, again. Note that this is a great difference from before. We were together every.single.day. and I would get mad if we werent together – I changed that.

Thursday I had invited im to go to a dinner. He kind of said no and made excuses. Then it turns out one of his friends from the band which I love was having a party for his birthday. I ended up not going to the dinner and met up with him to go to this friends birthday instead of my friends. Then we spent a few hours together and he took me home.

Friday, I was gonna have tutoring. Before I was gonna go to his house to pick something I needed up. Ends up my tutor failed, again. He invited me to stay so we studied together. But I felt maybe he asked because he felt I expected him to. I dont know. Then again he asked if I wanted to have dinner or go home. Again I have that same doubt. I asked “do you want me to just have dinner at my place and come back or have dinner here and go, or?”. He said “You can have dinner here if you want, but I wanted to sleep by myself”. This is something that he would do last time we dated. So I don’t take it as a big deal, when it hasnt been a week yet! But I did get sad and very worried about feeling he is afraid, that he just won’t tell me things like it is. My biggest fear is the lack of communication!

So he then realized I got sad, started hugging me, kissing me more, being more sweet, he was singing and stuff a bit. But NEVER, talked about it! -.-
At dinner I asked what else was he gonna do for the rest of the night. He said he was meeting up for a coffee with friends I was ok about it. Didn’t say anything, maybe just “nice”. After dinner he asked if I wanted to go too. I got SO happy. I was SO sad and insecure about the rest of the things and feeling he didnt really wanted me to be there. At the coffee he didnt give me that much attention. We were there for ike 2 hours. Then at the end we were going home, he asked if I wanted to sleep there.

I said… But, you wanted to skeep by yourself. He said yeah but I sad you got said. I said “that isnt why, I’m ok with that! I just feel we cant talk about stuff, You were nervous to tell me that and I don’t want you to! I want you to feel comfortable with me and to be honest, this is something that scares me. The communication. Thats why I told you before I think we should talk about things.” he said “we will just keep going and see, thats what I told you we would do”.

Anyway I nodded, we went home, slept together. He kissed and hugged me in the middle of the night.

Today we woke up watched some tv, he was a bit distant, wasnt hugged to me or anything. Took me home, told me to tell him something. I still didn’t.
Today I have a BD dinner. I invited him tuesday or something, he said yes. Turns out he is going with his friends to a dinner (they already had schedule doing something today but he wasnt sure what it would be), and he told me (a few days ago) he just said “about saturday we are going for dinner”. Just that. I didn’t say anything about it.

Ok so now these are my worries:

-> There is a lot of sexual tension and I’m afraid we are spending more time making out then talking and going out together to build a real couple relationship.

-> I keep reading when you get back you should talk. About what each one wants from the relationship and each other. What each other feels like, what we have learned… He got back with an ex before, I never did. Should I go with what he wants (not talk) and let him guide our relationship like I should have done the first time? (I let my insecurities guide it the last time -.-)

– But I do feel at some point I might have to really talk anyway cause I even started crying again and feeling depressed, unwanted, insecure even a bit, again.

-> I have plans to go to this singers concert next week. We had great moments listening to him. Its really romantic. Should we go? I want to tell him I love him on that concert. Should I?

-> Any other general tips you have for me? I appreciate them immensely. I want to help everyone get where I am: The opportunity to try again. But right now I can’t with my head. I need some help and tips from you again. I hope I get to a point in my relationship where its going again, and I can write a FULL topic about how I got back, and what to do once you do to get your relationship back on track, with the good of the previous one, and not the bad. But now I need your help 🙁

Thank you

[Oshi]

@kaila First I want to say that I’m really happy for you!! 🙂 This is indeed a huge difference from before! It seems like he realized his feelings and doesn’t want to lose you, that’s great! Now I’m sure that he also missed the intimate moments, I haven’t experienced it myself but I think that every couple after getting together again is mostly having intimate moments than talking and such. I think it’s normal because he did say “we’ll see how it goes” so I’m sure that he isn’t sure himself what to do and acting right now through his feelings and emotions but doesn’t want to promise anything yet.
I think you shouldn’t talk with him much about the relationship for now, maybe give him some time to understand what he wants, also I think you shouldn’t reveal your feelings until you are sure that he feels that way as well. Once you’ve reached this step it’s important to take is slow and not rushing things, keep playing it cool and have confidence and I’m sure everything will turn out fine! 😉

[Oshi]

I’ve started to question myself lately whether I’m doing the right thing, so I would appreciate some advice from you 🙂

Last time we’ve met up he asked me why I think that he doesn’t want to stay in touch, and confirmed that he does want to stay friends and said that he’s also trying to. The thing is, now that he supposedly thinks that I’m seeing someone (Told him about this new guy that I’m seeing) and I’m not initiating anything, wouldn’t it make him think that I moved on and don’t want anything to do with him?
He did initiate and texted me a few days ago (after the meeting) I was texting on Whatsup with a friend and suddenly he texted me at 12 am O_O We kept texting for a while and then I told him good night and ended the conversation.

The thing is, I know that he’s working all day and sometimes even working till late, but why would he text me at this hour? Asking me what’s new, just to stay in touch? It feels a bit weird. Also I’ve decided that I won’t initiate anymore. So do you think that I’m doing the right thing?

[kaila]

Hey Oshi! Thank you for your advice and support 🙂

Do you think I should take him to that concert? I told him it was a surprise. Should I ask what he thinks of it? Or just do this surprise?

Also, I just got back from my friends bd. I texted him half an hour ago (we were texting back and forth) saying I didnt know if I should go home or go to another place. He didnt answer-.- I was expecting him to ask if I wanted to be with them or for him to pick me up! That would be the normal thing for him to do, even at the beginning of our relationship he was like that to me 🙁

He just texted saying he also went to another place but wasn’t probably staying for long. Didn’t even ask about me or meeting up. I feel he is just comfortable, like he is the one that rules the relationship. He has me, and he is doing whatever, not putting much effort into it. Such a nice life he is living -.-

About you… I think he texted cause he missed you and probably cause he thought about you dating someone else. When was it the last time you talked?

[Oshi]

@kaila Yes I think it will be a good idea taking him to the concert! you can make it a surprise 🙂 I think you shouldn’t try making him invite you or hanging out with you, you shouldn’t expect anything yet, so if you want to hangout with him it may be better just asking him. You should make yourself busy as well! making him realize that this relationship won’t be on his terms! don’t initiate all the time and let him pursue you! Keep playing it cool and I’m sure he would come to you as well.

Yes it might be that he misses me or that he simply want to keep in touch because we discussed about or friendship back then. That was the last time we talked, about 5 days ago when he initiated the texting. I didn’t initiate at all since our meeting and I’m waiting for him to initiate first, but I’m afraid to continue this and he won’t initiate at all, thinking that I’ve moved so he would give up.

[chanelette]

i want some advice

me and him only been together for two weeks, he broke up with me because i was insecure, he was testing the water after a week but i acted really cold to him then he went from warm to naturally/ cold after my “rejection” (we had small text for 4 days), he even defaulted thats why he turned cold so i realised i made a mistake so i begged for a week to show him i still want to get back together and even asked for a lunch, he then said “no, I’m not interested, really” and explained what he is busy at..

my question is he was acting like indifferent then why he bothered to give me more detail? he was already cold, normal ex would believe a NO will end my suggestion..

so now its 28th of our breakup and on my 2nd round of NC day 7/8 ..
is there any chance? I’m sticking to my guns! our connection was quite strong, i had an ex of 5 years and nothing compares to him, i think i hurt him quite bad, as he even mentioned “i __________, for your interest, isn’t that effort?” 2 days before we breakup, and he kinda imply my insecure remind him of his wound and its scared to spend time with me so he asked me to let him go (probably an ex, and he doesn’t want history to repeat)

[Author]

Posts