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I need some help. Me and my ex girlfriend broke up 2 weeks ago. She broke up because of my attitude (she did not told me before anything that she’s being irritated, she just told me about it when it hit her boiling point) and she told me that she gave up already. I talked to her after 2 days then she told me that she still loves me then after 3 days she told me that she still loves her ex (they’ve been together for 4 years, we became together 6 months after their breakup) and they’re talking to each other but they’re still not back together.
Do I still have a chance to get her back? I know that she loved me (I was introduced to her family), even if we were just 3 months together. She told me that she broke up with me because of my attitude, not her ex. I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or what but I still want her back. We last talked 2 days ago (Saturday dawn) and its like our goodbyes for the meantime but she told me that I can still talk to her as friends. I accepted at first but I took it back and unfriended her on Facebook.
What should I do to win her back? I really love her and it kills me.
Another question, I have a date next week, which was originally for us. I asked a girl out, she knew about our breakup and she agreed to join me.
Should I post it on Social Media Accounts or just do this No Contact Rule? If yes, how long and what will I do?
I’m inlove with her and I still want her back. I hope someone would help me.
Thanks,
@millionreasons – Only together 3 months and she wanted to break up because of your attitude? What does that mean and be as specific as you can. Whatever you did to cause her unhappiness, you need to work on those issues if you want another chance. Yes, start no contact for a month while you improve yourself. DO NOT post on social about other girls and DO NOT have dates with other girls while you’re trying to make amends with your ex! If she finds out about it, your chances will probably be ruined. So, you need to improve your “attitude” and do the no contact. If she contacts you first and it warrants a response, be kind. Good luck..
@patricia12 – Thanks for the reply. The attitude that she’s complaining is about me being childish, dependent and immature the week before the breakup. She did not told me that she’s having issues with it then all of a sudden she told me then she’s breaking up with me.
How will she know that I’m working on those attitude if we do not have a connection on Social Media?
Btw, I started No Contact 2 days ago. Its hard but I know it will be for the better.
@millionreasons – You must have displayed these behaviors longer than a week as it’s not reasonable to think that she would break up after only one week of such behaviors, but the rest of the time together was okay. What do you mean by “childish”, “dependent”, and “immature” ?? Can you give examples? How old are you? You should let her know you’re doing no contact and the reason is so you can focus on improving your negative behaviors. Later on, you could get in touch with each other and then you’ll probably get the chance to show her you’ve changed when you see each other in person.
@patricia12 – She told me that she was not happy anymore and her issues are the said attitudes. An example is I easily get disappointed, an example is when we still have this Journal thing that we’re doing. When the Journal was already full, she told me not to continue anymore as she doesn’t really like it. So I got really disappointed.
I’m 25 years old. I don’t know how to say to her that I will be doing No Contact since it seems that we said our last messages.
Do I need to get worried that she’s talking to her ex?
@millionreasons – You need to be more specific as in HOW do you display your disappointments? IE: what do you say or do or act?? When she told you that she didn’t like the journal and didn’t want you to continue, you should have just said “Okay”. She has a right to have her opinion of the journal. It might help to treat people the same way you would want to be treated, ya know? Don’t say or do anything that will cause hurt feelings etc.. You might send her a short text to let her know why you’re going to be doing no contact, then do it. I’m not sure if you should worry that she’s talking to her ex, but it won’t change anything if you do worry, will it? What will be, will be. Anyway, they were together 4 years and probably have a lot of good memories, but he might not want to get back together with her. It probably depends on why they broke up. The main thing for you to focus on now, is your own issues and try to make the changes..
@patrica12 – I told her that I was disappointed because she did not like the idea of it at the first place, why did she even took almost 3 months before telling it to me, that’s how I told her. On our last conversation (the one which I told you that it was our last messages), she told me to accept criticisms and grow up. I’m thinking that I should put it on my text message to her that the things she said were on my mind and I will take that criticisms and change for the better me. She also told me that she really loved me but her feelings for her ex did not change. Quite ironic. But I did know that there is love between us. Should I send her the text as soon as possible? Or should I wait like tomorrow? Valentines?
Another question on my mind is why should I let her know that I’m doing no contact? What I’m thinking about is I’ll be doing no contact then change without telling her. Is that a good idea? What are your thoughts about it?
Thanks, Patricia for your quick response.
@millionreasons – Everybody has a right to their own opinions, but what is important is the way one person expresses the opinion and the way the other person accepts constructive criticism. Sometimes there’s room to discuss compromise and sometimes it’s best just left alone without comment. Make the text very short to let her know why you’re doing no contact so that she won’t think you’re angry or ignoring her for no reason. Send it tonight or the day after Valentine’s Day.
If there are other things you think made her unhappy, change those things too.
@patricia12 – I can say that she thinks that I’m not communicating at all because is that it feels like we said our last messages to each other already.
Again, I would like to ask your input why should I tell her that I’ll be not contacting her and I’m doing that so that I can focus on my negative behaviors? I would like to hear your answer/input on this.
Yes, I’m willing to change all the things that made her unhappy. Just like what I’ve said, I plan to change all those without contacting and informing her.
Yes, everybody is entitled to their opinions, I know I should just have said nothing about that issue.
@millionreasons – You talked on Saturday to say the goodbyes, but she told you that you can still talk as friends. You accepted, then took it back and unfriended her on Facebook. If you ignore her for a month, she will think you don’t want to be friends and that you’re upset with her, or that you don’t care about getting back with her and that you plan to move on. This might be enough to drive her into the arms of her ex. or find someone else. However, if you let her know you need time and space to work on your insecurities and negative behaviors, she will know you’re trying to improve yourself. If she has any feelings for you, this might give her hope that you want to please her by changing bad behaviors so maybe you could have a better relationship with her in the future. This is just my opinion, but you should do whatever you think is right for you and makes you feel comfortable.
Wishing you luck..@patricia12 – I texted her a while ago about the time and space for my self improvement and wished her all the best on her new work. Surprisingly, she replied, even if it was a simple thank you, I felt happy. 🙂
It’s time to change now, for the better version of myself.
@patricia12 – By the way, after sending the said message, she suddenly unfollowed me on IG as well. 😀
@millionreasons – WOW ~ so far, so good.. Now work on the improvements you want to make:) Don’t pester her with messages and stay no contact. Did you give her a time frame of time? Such as a month or what? It will be difficult, but you can do it and I’m wishing you the best. Tomorrow will be day 1.
@patricia12 – No, I did not give her a timeframe. But I’m planning to do it in a month since my birthday will be on March 15.
I have a question though, why do you think she suddenly unfollowed me on IG and deleted all our pictures together there?
Yes, today will be day 1, what a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day on starting to improve and love myself again. 🙂
@millionreasons – Don’t know why she unfollowed you, but don’t make a big deal of it and don’t ever mention it to her. If you say something, it will seem like you’re being childish and needy. Lots of people don’t spend a lot of time on social media and have other things to do.
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