Boards Reconciliation Reconciliation

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  • #115692
    Peshen
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    Hi Forum,

    I’m a malaysian indian and my ex-girlfriend is a malaysian chinese. We been in a relationship for 10years. Both families know each other and her family accepted me. We were working together in SG and staying with her family. Things got into routine although we seems happy but i believe she was lack of attraction towards me. She is a very loyal girl. We never cheated in our relationship. I intend to buy a house in KL and settle down with her after 1 year and I have spoke to her. I need to leave SG earlier and I was jobless in KL. While she got into a job in KL and planning to come back in 2 months time. Things get bumpy as I was expressing my family issues and job issues with her and causing her to stress. She started to wonder whether I m a best fit for her. She attended a couple of farewell before her flight to KL. She was inattentive towards me and request for a space from me. Its the 1st time i m experiencing over 10 years of our relationship. Eventually she called for breakup. After her trip to KL, I got to know that her crush (also he friend) whom was not in contact with her, approached her during her farewell and quarantine knowing hard time with me and confessed that he loves her after she expressed that she broke up with me. She told me that she wasn’t ready for the new relationship as the breakup was hard for her since i’m close to her family, friends and i treated her well these years. She expressed that the reason of breakup is she couldn’t stand my jealousy, emotional and dependant towards her. At the peak before I leave I stalked her message and realised that the guy who confess to her, she has been showing interest and hope and they are moving fast. Currently they are in long distance contact as the guy in SG and she is in KL. However, there are plans that she is helping him to find a job in kl for them to settle down. She was angry and pist towards my actions before i leave as i stalked her message and confronted her. As a result we are doing no contact period now. However, since we share a lot of mutual friends we still Facebook friends and I able to message her. Provided she reply. The work she depend in Kl wasn’t favourable for her, thus she resigned. Currently she wish to explore her single life. I offered her financial help, she said she will pay me back in time. She told me that she doesnt wanna look back to out relationship and intend to move on. I see that we share wonderful memories all these years and she broke up with me due to my behaviour issues which accumulated over the years. I need advise on how I can get back with her? Is her current relationship is a rebound? or Has she completely move on. She has return all my belonging but kept my gifts along with my love letters for her. She asked me to leave all her family whatsapp but the family created a separate group for me. She kept her current crush relationship as a secret as its a sensitive period and mentioned to me that the guy is chasing her but she didnt offically accepted and her message to him tells otherwise. Please help as i believe she is in confuse and I can fix my behaviour for her. We share alot of good memories and compatible in our daily life choices for years.

    #115698
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @Peshen What is SG amd KL?? Your jealousy (apparently unfounded) prior to the breakup was obviously a problem for her which made her very unhappy and now you’re checking her messages. How can you look at her messages?? Do you have her email password or what?? The emotional dependency was also a problem and all of this bad behavior is not acceptable in a good relationship!! Bad behavior will ruin good memories as she will mostly remember and focus on what you did to hurt her. Bad behavior effects are very strong and will dominate the overall feelings of unhappiness in a relationship..

    I suggest you stop stalking her social media (don’t message her) and stop contacting her family!

    You need to look inward and try to find out why you acted so badly and what you need to do to stop it!!

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