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So here’s my story.. I met a lovely man.. kind, charming, caring.. he chased me… he made me laugh.. we got close…then little by little.. he started to push me away.. excuses.. too busy etc.. I really felt it and the more he pushed… the more I tried to fix things… long story short.. every time we met.. we fought.. it seemed he had thrown me away.. and I just couldn’t believe it… I tried to make things better.. eventually he told me some very hurtful things that nobody wants me.. he doesn’t want me in his life anymore… etc… after hearing those words, I realized I had no reason to stay anymore.. I walked out of his office… 7 weeks ago.. and have avoided him completely… the truth is I am so immensely hurt by what he said to me that I can’t bring myself to even be near him… despite how I feel about him.. I am destroyed by his words.. week 6 he rings my phone… I see it ringing and honesty i m shocked to see his name.. I can’t brjng myself to answer it.. I can’t even bring myself to respond in anyway to it.. a week later today… he emails me about work matters that I attend to on his behalf.. he writes… I hope you are keeping well… he looks for an update on work matters and says ‘If you think we should meet to discuss the various matters that’s ok with me, just let me know when suits’.. I don’t know what to do… I felt sick when I saw his email.. reading it.. he seems indifferent to the hurt he caused me.. no apologies.. just work… I don’t know what to do or how to handle it… please help me..
Just curious as to what “various matters” he’s referring to…
He treated you badly and there’s no excuse for his saying cruel things. Continue to avoid him and don’t answer any emails and don’t take his phone calls. You deserve someone else that will treat you better!
Big question….do you want him back? Sounds like what you want is an apology, an acknowledgement that he did wrong. But in the end you really don’t want him back. Some people will acknowledge their mistakes and some people won’t. You have no control over someone else’s desire to apologize but you do have control how you respond to that lack of apology. Have you been to therapy? There is nothing wrong with seeking help. Seems like you have low self-esteem….because you allowed the hurtful words of this man to dominate your life (we all do that, we all allow the words of another to dominate in our lives)….But if you do love him then maybe this email is an indirect/direct attempt of reaching out to you. Maybe he feels remorse for what he did to you but doesn’t know how to apologize.
I would suggest (just my suggestion) since this is work related, you might just email him back and say that you would rather not meet and they can communicate via email on what ever it is you need to work on. If he asks why, then you directly tell him that his words wounded you and you’re not ready to meet up with him face to face. Maybe this gives him the window that he is seeking to apologize. BUT an apology are meer words at the end of the day, if you want this to work with him or not…You need to fix what was broken in you. Much Love
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