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Here’s what I would like you to help me with:
I recently got back in touch with the girl I cut contact with five years ago.
I didn’t think she would respond after all this time, but she did and it was quite long:
She said that all the hurt and pain had come back.
That what I put her through had badly affected her and still does.
That she’s had issues with her relationships and that she’s never quite felt the same again.
That she thought I hated her.
However, what I’m really struggling to understand is why she would also tell me “I like the idea of us trying something together but I’m afraid of the result”?
This really hurt, but I know where she’s coming from.
I cut contact because I kept doubting her feelings and I convinced myself she didn’t like me. I didn’t once think about how it would affected her – it was incredibly selfish and devoid of compassion and at least an explanation for her.
Im totally ashamed of what I did and what I put her through.
What can you tell me about what she said to me?
Is there any hope? Does she still have feelings? Is it done for?
I think you do have a chance. I found myself in a similar situation a bit over a year ago, before meeting the one who brought me here.
People change, it’s inevitable. When you meet someone who believes that people don’t grow/change, that’s a a closed minded person. So who are you now?
If you’re not the same guy who put who put her through hell, and you’re ready to be your best self, be that guy. Be patient. Sooner or later it’ll show.@Gamecoder.nz
We were never officially together due to distance, but we had a sort of fling for four years.
She got in touch almost every day to tell me about her day. She would often tell me how she things reminded her of me like sitting next to group of English people.
We would see eachother during the summer. Eventually, during my gap year, she invited me to her prom in Paris and we went together. I was surprised by the fact that all her friends knew me. One of her friends even told me that I had no idea how much she would talk about me.
I really liked her back then, in fact I was so deeply in love. She never knew this though.
I was really insecure back then and I managed to convince myself that she didn’t like me, no matter how obvious it should have been.
This is the reason I cut contact – I thought it would help me move on and forget about her. This was a couple of weeks after we had gone to her Prom. I cut her off completely.
I’ve grown up considerably, I feel.
I was a total moron back then and a complete inconsiderate asshole to her when I cut contact.
I thought cutting her off would help me move on and forget her. I’ve been in complete denial for these last five years. I’ve been in other relationships, and they’ve all failed because something was missing – Her. It’s always been her I’ve longed for.
I hope that some day we can get to know eachother again and that she may find the strength to forgive me and trust me.
She said, ““I like the idea of us trying something together but I’m afraid of the result” She’s afraid you will turn your back on her and dump her again without warning or explanation.
She liked you 5 years ago, but you left her and she thought you hated her.
How far apart are you now? If she would agree to meet up with you in person, you should tell her everything you told us here (from the heart) as to the reasons you left her 5 years ago. As an alternative, you could talk to her by phone. Texting is too impersonal.
Yes, I think she still has feelings for you. It seems there might be some hope of a possible relationship after you talk with her and if you take things slowly..
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