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Long story short, me and my ex broke up a month ago. We have been together for a year with one previous break up in the middle (lasting about 3 months, I was NC before he came back). He broke up with me this time saying that he thought we didn’t work.
I’m so disappointed in myself – 2 days ago I broke NC after 18 days. I asked him how he was doing and I eventually ended up saying that I missed him etc. He admitted to missing me too and he really likes me, but doesn’t want to string me along and as we’ve broken up twice we don’t work (but he dumped me both times). I really like this guy and I don’t want him to disappear from my life but I cannot be friends with him, it would hurt me too much, so I’ve gone back into NC.
Have I ruined things?
He broke up with you twice within a year and this last time basically said the relationship doesn’t work for him. You must pay attention to what a guy says and consider he means it!! I don’t think you “ruined things”, but he’s just not wanting a relationship with you for various reasons. Continue no contact and work on self improvements in areas you think are necessary. I understand you can’t be “friends” with someone you love, so either he would at some point want to work things out or he’s given up. Don’t get your hopes up that it’s the former. FYI; the first year is usually bliss and if it’s not, it’s easier to give up if deeper feelings aren’t there. Live your life as happily as you can and don’t obsess about him. I know it’s difficult, but worry won’t change anything. Good luck.
Thanks so much. That’s what I thought to be honest. I think it’s over, and I’ve been acting as if it is (apart from that one day, obviously).
I’ve been really working on self improvement recently, a lot has been happening and it has been going really well. I feel like I have myself back, which is really fantastic.
It’s just that little thing in the back of my head that keeps ticking over and won’t forget him (I think it’ll forget with time!) And unfortunately when I have a bad mental health day, it’s where my focus lies.
Maybe he will come back in a few years. If he does, I’ll consider a new relationship as if it was a new person. For now I’m looking forward to dating some new people. I’ve found some blind dating events that look so exciting!
Thanks so much for your comment. 🙂
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