Boards No Contact Rule I think I screwed up please help!!

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  • #1022
    kevinsmusicrox
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    Please help me!! My name is Kevin

    I’m 20 and my ex girlfriend is 18. I love her with all my heart and she claimed the same and even told me everyday. We were the happiest couple and couldn’t get enough of each other. We had been dating for almost a year when she all of a sudden wanted to break up and was very vague as to why.

    Please help me!! My name is Kevin

    I’m 20 and my ex girlfriend is 18. I love her with all my heart and she claimed the same and even told me everyday. We were the happiest couple and couldn’t get enough of each other. We had been dating for almost a year when she all of a sudden wanted to break up and was very vague as to why.

    I treated her the best I could. I’m a genuinely caring person and I always did my best to make her smile. I was always there for her when she needed me and always did my best to listen and give advice when she was feeling depressed. We were both always obsessed with seeing each other as much as possible.

    After a few days of her breaking up, I brought her her favorite flowers and chocolate hoping it was just a bad time she was having. After 30 minutes of talking (and me practically sobbing) she told me she had sex with somebody else within the first couple weeks we started seeing each other. We were technically hook up buddies for a while until it manifested into dating.

    Yesterday, after she told me I went ballistic and said horrible things to her out of spite. I’m willing to overlook it since it was back when we were basically just sex buddies.

    Any thoughts that may help me out? I removed her from Facebook to keep myself from looking her up and breaking no contact. I even foolishly messaged her today apologizing and said I love her but I will get through this even though I want her back more then anything. Her response was “why did you say those mean things?” And I explained I got caught up in the moment and we weren’t even serious then so I can forgive you. Please help me.

    #1023
    kevinsmusicrox
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    Sorry about the repetitive paragraph.

    #1036
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Follow the 5 step plan and sign up to kevin’s email series.
    You do have a chance.

    #1098
    kevinsmusicrox
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    I met with her brother today and he told me she had been much more outgoing since the breakup and seems to be a lot happier. However, her brother is moving out and she hates him so it could just be because she’s happy he’s leaving? I don’t know whether to think she’s happy for real, trying to compensate or just happy because he’s leaving. Please help me I don’t wanna lose her. I love her more then life itself. Please give me any opinions you may have!! I really need more people to talk to through this hard time.

    #1286
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Don’t think about her or what she might be doing or thinking during NC.
    Focus on yourself and let NC do it’s most important purpose which is making you a happy confident person.NC is more about you not her.
    Stop talking to her brother for a while.don’t stalk her and don’t ask anyone anything about her.

    #1485
    sucker
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 20

    Is this really a break up or a lovers’ spat? I mean, she HALF-WAY “cheated” almost a year ago and you blew off a little steam…then you a apologized…then you get on with things. That is fixable immediately. You don’t have to torture both you and her with no contact and all of this razzamatazz. This is a common bump in a relationship. All relationships have these and the more you sit down and work through them, the stronger you two become.

    Get some other opinions, get Kevin’s opinions, boss, yet I think you two are okay.

    xo
    sucker

    #2501
    kevinsmusicrox
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    We reconciled about a week ago and then last night she exploded like a volcano. I asked her if she still had any anger towards me and she just went off like crazy out of nowhere. You’re right though, I feel like no contact doesn’t have as much of an impact in my situation. I feel like everything could be worked out just by talking but she just won’t even listen. She told me to F off and stop talking to her family which I should’ve done in the first place. We were so happy and out of nowhere she doesn’t know what she wants. Should I just begin no contact all over again or do something else?

    #2502
    kevinsmusicrox
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    Probably not the smartest question to ask but I was feeling some tension and I didn’t think a simple question could cause so much damage.

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