January 29, 2020 at 2:26 am #113928
Hi everyone, just looking for opinion.
Back story is we were in relationships for two years I am 39 and she is 40, we both have two kids from previous marriage,so after two years of turbulent relationship (I broke up with her once and I initiated contact and she broke up with me once and she initiated contact) so again my girlfriend broke up with me on January 7,worst part is we were on vacation with all our kids and had a fight and she broke up with me. I tried to fix things sending her flowers once we got back, after 20 days,she thanked me , saying sorry it has to be this way but she just can’t be together anymore. Two weeks later she texted me she regrets things ended as well but this time apart has been good and she can see why our relationship didn’t work and that she’s truly sorry if she hurt me ( well she said pretty bad and insulting stuff to me ).she thinks it’s our past lives ( exes ), kids that have to be priority than envy thing else and communication.how I am such a good man and I will find someone who’s match for me and we’re very different people…….I am not sure why would she texted me this if we already broke up……neither what it means?January 29, 2020 at 3:25 am #113940
@ratepl7 Several breakups isn’t a good sign, but maybe try couples counseling.February 25, 2020 at 11:51 am #114179
Thanks for your replay,
I would like to put some updates, and get some answers if it possible, because it’s really messy. I am not sure how to put this one, but we got back seeing each other month ago.
She proposing us to do casual dating, not include our children into or each other friends, I asked if that means seeing other people, she kinda hesitate but we agreed not, or unless you meet some one to let other person to know it.
Now she has stages, where she would text me how much she loves me, she wish we met earlier and had our own family ( she wanted to have a child with me and she ask me to have, but I didn’t want). After when I asked her about it, she would say that I am too emotional.
She said that she’s confused, maybe because before we met she was in relationships/affair with a guy for three years when she found out that he is actually married and has a two kids that she didn’t know. When she started seeing him, she was still married and after two years into affair with him, she separated and they were in relationship. She doesn’t know from where we go now, that we have to figure out what’s happening!?!?
I bit feel awkward with everything, our texting is not us used to be, things that we used to do together, we don’t do together, we spend less time together, but she doesn’t want to let me go. I just feel she keeps me around till she find somebody else, just to be bandage. I don’t really want to waste me time in hope for something will eventually change, but not sure what to do now.
ThxFebruary 25, 2020 at 3:16 pm #114185
@ratep17 Is she divorced or legally separated? How old are all the children?
Yes, dating her casually without the children would be a good idea. That would give you a chance to rekindle your love for each other by doing fun things together.
You could apologize for any part you played in the breakup. You should also have discussions about why the relationship didn’t work and how to make it better! And try to think of ideas to make it work better with the children too. You both need to discuss thoughts and ideas..
Don’t date anyone else while trying to reconcile.
Good luck:)February 25, 2020 at 7:17 pm #114188
Thanks for you replay.
They never legally divorce or separate, they split four years ago. Her kids are 8 and 10.February 25, 2020 at 7:18 pm #114189
Mine are same 8 and 10 too.
ThxFebruary 25, 2020 at 10:42 pm #114191
@ratep17 Is she planning on getting a divorce? Perhaps share custody of the children with their father?February 27, 2020 at 9:23 am #114210
No, they doesn’t planning to legally divorce or anything that I know.
They already have/agreed share custody.May 20, 2020 at 6:27 pm #115001
I just have to take this off my chest, I think I made a mistake today. We broke up again, 11 days ago and I had a dream about her and decided to send her a message, I told her, I dreamt about her last night and she told me she was started missing me terrible last couple days and she tried to go back online to date and it makes her feel physically sick to think to be with somebody else. I told her I miss her too and would like to see each others over the weekend, As we talked I offer couple things we could do this weekend ( what we like to do together)
But she wasn’t sure if that would be good idea, she doesn’t know what to do, she asked me if she can think about it and I said yes.
Later on I was curious and checked the website where we met ( I creat fake profile ) and ya she was there online.
Now, I just feel stupid that I tried to reach out to her, don’t understand if you miss someone, why would you go online dating, what kind excuse is that…even after seven days you start looking for someone, like hook up???May 21, 2020 at 1:49 am #115002
@ratep17 Think about the fact that the relationship was turbulent for 2 years, that she never got a divorce, and now she’s on an online dating site.
Apparently the breakup was over 4 months ago.. so what do you mean 11 days ago?
There has been too many problems that you two have been unable to resolve, so now you should consider if even trying to reconcile would be in your best interest.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.