November 4, 2021 at 8:47 am #115914Gregoryfey88Participant
- Total Posts: 3
Me (32 Male) Her (32 Female) This might be a long post so I do apologize… The middle of August I decided to join Bumble… It was good and I met a few people and chatted a bit here and there… Then she matched with me… A beautiful sweet blonde (I know cliché) I’m a Scot by descent so her first opening was how Scottish are you from crofter to William Wallace? So anyways.
We started chatting and well she’s a pilot and trained with none other than my older brother whom she knew very very well… We ended up chatting on whatsapp and well our first call was over 6 hours long… And we had instant recognition… We found out that throughout our lives we had been in the same area at the same time moving to the same cities at the same time… The universe was trying to tell us something… It was otherworldly to say the least… She decided then and there to set a date for that week for our first date… Our first date was insane… 5 hours of talking and we couldn’t stop kissing and being around each other… I knew RIGHT there she was my flame… We had another 3 dates after that.. All exceeded 5 hours… It was absolutely golden… Heavenly… Time stopped every time I was with her and she couldn’t understand why she felt this way… She told me repeatedly she was so scared of what she felt… She was jaded from a previous relationship well her fiancé cheated on her… Fast forward to the end of September the 25th morning… Out of the blue I got this message “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you over the last couple of weeks and want to thank you for the time we have spent together. You’re an incredible person, that I’m so grateful to have met! I’ve given it some though over the last few days and I’m not ready to date or prioritise a relationship right now. I know that’s what you’re looking for and so deserve a woman who can give you all of that! I really hope you find the that person. Wishing you all the best x”
Less than 3 days prior she had said she can’t wait to see me… We spoke on the phone the next day and she said she needs to focus on herself and that the feelings were too intense and she felt overwhelmed… And didn’t feel ready to pursue a relationship… I backed off after that and said I respected her decision… But with emotions running high I contacted her again 2 weeks later… Just finding out how she was… After she had posted an image on her status which indicated that she was in pain… She said I will be fine and don’t worry about me… We chatted here and there but to dead conversations following that… Yesterday I sent a voice note asking what happened why she ended things so suddenly in a calm and collected manner… Her message to me was brutal and harsh… “This is personal matter that I’m not getting into and that needs to be respected. I dont have the emotional capacity or the energy to deal with late night phone calls and long voicenotes. I think I’ve been clear enough.
I would like for you to stop contacting me please. This is making me feel uncomfortable.”
I had only tried calling her twice that month… First after she was in pain and the second to congratulate her on her ratings exam… Both went unanswered… The next morning I replied to her message apologizing and telling her I was stepping back… To which she blocked me… What do I do? Last time we spoke was on the 27th October.November 5, 2021 at 9:12 am #115916patricia12Participant
- Total Posts: 2864
@Gregoryfey88 Sounds like you came on too strong from the beginning and even though she did too, as a man, you should have shown more constraint in slowing things down to a sensible pace! Apparently she was overwhelmed by the situation. I know you said her fiance cheated, but both of you being 32 years of age, I’m wondering if either of you have children or maybe divorced from a previous marriage??
Who’s idea was it to send voice note?? That can be stressful too as some people prefer texts or phone calls. Too much of any types of communication can also seem too intrusive!! And late night phone calls might not be appropriate if one needs to get up early for work..
Don’t stalk her social media and back off like you said you would do!! You also need to put things in perspective. This was a very short “relationship” and yet it turned difficult quickly. That’s a red flag! Try your best to get on with your life and let time pass.. she may or may not change her mind, but don’t obsess about it.January 8, 2022 at 12:40 pm #116034
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