NC after “being friends”

Hi 👋

My relationship ended 3 months ago. We were together for almost 2 years, living together and with great hopes for the future.

The love started fading for her 6 months prior to the breakup , I saw the signs and I wasn’t able to act on fixing the issues that got us separated.

She broke up with me and i did the whole beg and plead thing, moved out the day after.
Went back to my family place in another town for a month to try not to breakdown. I was very supportive with her.

We never stopped talking for that month and we actually agreed to meet once I got back. And so we did. After that meeting she said she wanted to be friends and i saw it as a opportunity to rekindle.

I’ve done quite a lot since then , never taking the friend role …always pushing for more.. and being rejected in some ways…in other ways getting closer and more intimate.

1 month and a half into this kind of limbo e set myself on i started breaking down. The rejection started hurting more and i felt I was having no self respect.

I was feeling the loss… Trying to get back together and allowing her to have me all she could.

So fucked up.

6 days ago i sent a message saying I needed a little time to think about my choices in life and if they are healthy or not for me.

NC since.

I dunno what happens next..
I don’t even know if this was the right thing to do.

Any insight?