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Hey I am in need of some immediate help right now… My ex just texted me after 2 days and I know im not supposed to say a word back to her but should it still be considered the same if its only been two days. Its Friday night and I dont think she is out with her friends but im pretty sure she is at home. she said “my name…” and another text “where r u?”… some please help me this is almost unbearable. I want to text her something very short back like “why” or something. if she is out I dont want her doing anything stupid. and what if she contacts me more during this NC period and its only day 2… there could be alot of texts there. PLEASE HELP ME WITH WHAT TO DO……
mistahanson101,
Don’t reply to her unless it is an emergency situation. Not replying to her text will give her something to miss you.Azule is right man. Im currently two days into the NC thing and i know its hard man it sucks its really hard not to reply but not doing so will make her miss you more. So just do not reply unless its amergency of coarse.
I know that’s what I am supposed to do and I didn’t say anything back to her last night. I have so many mixed emotions about not saying anything it’s almost making me wish I had said at least why so I wouldn’t be worrying about it. I mean I know NC is absolutely no contact but there must be different circumstances right? I am an emotional and sensitive guy, not hard and less caring like others. I did find out through a friend that she was in fact out drinking last night. I can’t help but to think that I should have at least said “why.” And then she would have said something and I woulda responded with something that makes her realize she can’t just text me like that and be done with the conversation. She texted me what she said in my a over post at 12 so there was still 2 hours out at the bars. I woke up with knots in my stomach etc. Telling me I should have said something. I just wanted her to have me on her mind so she wouldn’t go and do something rash if you guys know what I mean. If she did something like that 3 days after the break up I just don’t know if I could forgive her even with us being broken up just cause it’s so soon. That thought would never even cross my mind for me to do that yet. I would really appreciate some more advise… My stomach kills and I should be sleeping more than 6 hours…
Also when we broke up she told me she wanted time for school, time to heal from the arguments we have had and time to find herself and be happy with herself… And I know getting closer to being done with school is about a year. I really don’t think she would even attempt a relationship again until later on… Should I even be attempting no contact at this point. I just really don’t believe she will even try dating after 45 days etc. Also, the night we broke up we hugged for a while, kissed a few times, she told me she would miss me as I said to her and I told her I loved her so much and she said it back a couple times as well…. I would love some input here guys I just don’t know how to proceed. I want to start strong but am fearful staying to strong like this could also have a negative affect on my overall goal which I think we all know what that is. I don’t want to just ignore her like this she is smart and I think she will know that I am blatantly doing this on purpose just to “prove a point”
Also… Can no contact backfire on you? Like could she start just thinking that I am ignoring her cuz I want nothing to do with her and completely lose her feelings for me and move on… Feelings that I know she still has.
Your breakup was polite and that’s a good point. She won’t forget you over a night. Will you forget her overnight? The bad feelings from arguments usually fade much faster. Maybe in a month or in 2,3 or 4 months. However, as those bad feelings fade, good feelings of “old good days” replace them! It’s the general trend!
This NC is primarily for you; to become strong and not get involved in (cheap) agreements. It is also true for her, especially in your case.
If she contact you, tell her politely that you both still need time and space to regain your composure. The stronger you act, the more attractive it will be.
Hey mistahansom,
You should be concentrating on yourself during NC period. She’s not going anywhere! I think it’ll be good for both of you if you give each other time and space like Dara said. During NC you should do things to improve yourself, work on your negative sides and think about why the break up happened. You haven’t yet done proper NC and it’s important that you do. Good news, I don’t think you need to do NC for more than 30 days in your situation cos chances are looking great in getting back together since she’s contacting you so at least you’re not at Death’ door. But ask yourself, do you want to jump right back at the failed relationship you once had? Or would you rather take time out, sort out yourself and get into a new relationship that’s more mature and different, one that will last? 30 days NC will help you improve and answer a lot of your questions and doubts. So even if she texts, tell her you need time and space and that’ll also give her a chance to think about things and miss you more. Dara also gave great advice as always 🙂 … Good luck
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