Boards › Reconciliation › My ex is back, but I’m confused…
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May 18, 2016 at 12:21 pm #62065
Some update:
This morning I ran into my ex as he was heading to the airport – it’s been exactly a month of NC and boy, did I miss him! anyway – he behaved as if nothing terrible had happened between us; he waved at me when he saw me and seemed happy to see me again. As he was waiting for the airport coach, we had some time to talk. First we talked about work and his travel; then the conversation shifted to what happened between us last time. I then took the opportunity to let him know that he hurt me terribly and I took a long time to recover from what he did. Surprisingly he replied that he felt that I was hurt. I also told him that I was not fine being shown this lack of respect and I would not put up with it. He still tried to justify his actions but this time I stayed firm and cut him short as he deserved. He then listened in silence to what I had to say. Mind you, it was not a verbal fight, I tried to keep the entire thing decent. In the end, I left on a positive note by giving him a hug and a kiss on his cheek. He did seem miffed when he boarded the bus though.
I feel relieved now after letting him know how I felt although I am not sure I will get to see him again. If he thinks I am a pain in the ass, then I probably wont. I have an idea when he is back but I will not seek him. If he wants to see me, he will need to do something.
Any thoughts? Do you think he got mad at me for putting him in his place?
May 18, 2016 at 9:32 pm #62073Wow! Crazy running into him.
I think its a really good thing you got to tell him how he made you feel and it help you feel more relived. From what I got from it, you didnt make him mad. He was probably just shocked you didnt put up with his excuses and you told him straight up how it is. Which is a good thing.
At this point, do you want him back at some point? Or have you moved on?
May 18, 2016 at 10:41 pm #62074hey Ann
thanks for your input π
well – seeing him again after one full month of NC made me realise that I still had intense feelings. But I am no doormat, and that’s precisely the purpose of the discussion I had with him today. Despite these strong feelings, I can still walk away if I do not get the right vibe from him. I just cannot afford to be hurt again and again… hopefully he has got the message today π it’s good he has a few weeks to process all this while he is far away. And I can finally focus on my work for a change…lol
May 19, 2016 at 9:50 am #62078May 18th , you seem to have a good outlook on things and a great “whatever happens I’ll be fine” attitude! I think that’s something we all are striving for in our situations , emotional independence. So congratulations and keep up the good work!
May 19, 2016 at 11:11 am #62085Laura,
Im glad youre staying so positive! I think the time out of the country will get good for him. Keep updating..
Ive kinda gotten to that stage where if things work with my ex great, if not im okay with it too.May 19, 2016 at 6:23 pm #62104Ann,
I guess I am forcing myself to see the bright side of things. In reality, my gut instinct tells me that nothing will happen eventually – one additional detail is that I may need to move away for work purposes in a few months (not confirmed yet) and he knows it. He does not seem to be a fan of LDR from what I know about him. So I honestly do not expect much. Besides, we broke up last October, started talking again in February and things have been moving ahead at snail’s pace. Perhaps because he is thinking I will leave soon, no idea… It would not be realistic of me to expect a miracle in just a couple of months, right? As I said, at this point, I will do something if he does something first. If not, I will let it be…
May 19, 2016 at 6:29 pm #62105@ Cecegirl1030
Thanks for your kind words. It’s pretty hard to get the “emotional independence” you mentioned but not impossible. I am still learning every day, it’s a long, tedious process.
May 21, 2016 at 6:16 pm #62165U are on the right path to a great attitude laurah. And I too can relate to how hard it is, the wavering and emotions that come and go to affect that. Hang in there and keep thinking and acting strong and positive
May 21, 2016 at 6:59 pm #62170Thanks! He will be abroad for the next several weeks and this is somewhat easier on me π
I hope that I will feel more at peace and less affected by the time he gets back.How are things with you? Any updates on your story?
May 21, 2016 at 7:18 pm #62172Yes there is, thanks for asking. I will post shortly on it. As I would like your opinion
May 23, 2016 at 8:52 am #62209Hi Laura! I envy your strength and spirit π
Wishing you all the best.May 23, 2016 at 1:11 pm #62221Thanks, One love
Like everyone else on this board, I have good, bad and sometimes horrendous times… The important thing however is to keep moving forward π
May 23, 2016 at 7:58 pm #62232π π
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