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Boards Reconciliation In need of some MAJOR advice and help about getting my ex back

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  • #116110
    Avatargoosetwenty
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    My wife and I have been separated for awhile, She had to move back into the house last year, because of a health scare and financial issues. We are both single and doing our own thing. I met a woman 4 months ago (she was aware of my situation) and we ended up falling for each other. She broke up with me 3 weeks ago, because she said she couldn’t do this emotionally anymore, I had things to get in order, and my situation reminded her of her ex. I dragged my feet and nothing changed with my home life while we spoke. She felt like the other woman, that she couldn’t have all of me, and that I wasn’t getting my life together. She was right. I stopped talking to her a few days after the break-up, but then we saw each other at the gym. She could tell I wasn’t doing good, and texted me that she still loved me and to drive safe after I left. I didn’t reach out to her after that, but she would text me here and there about random things. I kept the conversation casual and any time I saw her I would come across confident and positive even though I’m a mess inside. She even texted me about how she missed our sex life, but doesn’t want it with me unless she can have all of me. She started to vent to me about some work issues, and of course, I lifted her spirits up without being “lovey” about it. Last week she would still call me babe, boo, and love like she did when we were together. I felt like she was inadvertently using me for emotional support so I tried “no contact” with her to see if she would reach out. She didn’t text me in 3 days and I broke down and reached out. She responded at the end of the day (last night) then sent me this caption she sent her co-workers about life. I texted her late at night so she would get it in the morning like I used to about “having a great day” and “getting through her tough week”. She never responded at all.

    I’m so confused on what I should do. I read all of these conflicting reports on what I should do to get her back even though it was a short term relationship. She’s a very professional woman that has her shit together. She’s driven, headstrong, but treated me so well and I did the same. We had a really good thing going, and I recently got a better job and place to stay. She is aware of this, but it hasn’t made a difference. Should I continue no contact, or try to stay in contact with her? I haven’t begged, pleaded, or anything like that. I don’t know if I come across too needy or desperate to her or not. I’m seriously lost with this whole thing. I really do love her, but have no idea if she’s already seeing someone else, or if her feelings have faded even more. I want us to get another shot, but have no clue how to do it. Any help is welcome and needed. Thanks for your time.

    #116146
    Avatarpatricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2864

    @goosetwenty – The way you’ve been treating your ex is as if you’re pretending not to love her! Why do you think you’ve been doing that? If you’re certain that you don’t want to be with your wife, you should get a divorce! I don’t understand and neither does your ex.. I’m sure she feels like she’s being treated as an “option” and not a priority in your life. Most like she hasn’t “fallen” for someone new in just 3 weeks, but the longer you procrastinate about getting a divorce, the more likely she will give up on you and find someone else with no “entanglements” such as you have which would make a relationship more enjoyable + satisfying!

    I don’t know if you have young children with your wife and maybe you’re therefore not wanting to get a divorce, but 2 people who aren’t in love and dating others is NOT a good example for children! You need to make a decision and follow through with it..

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