I admit I hurt him but I want him back

Me and my ex boyfriend dated for almost a year, we started dating may 27th of 2014 and broke up may 11th. Our relationship was great we had a strong bond and just fell in love with each other right away.. He always had problems with his grandmother which he lived with because she adopted him when he was younger and he had a younger brother which was always into trouble with the law. 7 months into out relationship he moved in with me (in my parents home) because of physical problems he had with his brother at first everything was good we had little fight here and there but we always just made up. But I feel like after we actually lived together things started falling apart. I would always get mad at him for no reason I worked and he was unemployed at the moment so he didn’t do much other than be at home, I admit I was always the one that got really upset at him and that is when I started telling him hurtful things to him about himself his family and ex (who cheated on him) he would get upset but wouldn’t argue back every time this happened I would tell him to leave, kick him out. He would cry and tell me how much he loved me and how he didn’t have anywhere else to go I would feel bad because why was it that I was hurting the ones who loves me and I love so much so we would just make up.. This was every other couple of weeks same thing same mean words from me. He never said anything hurtful to me about my self or family when he would get upset he just stayed quiet and sit there. He had a lot of patience for me and I don’t know why I did all this to him. May 10th, he worked a double at his new job. 3 in the morning he texts me that he was going to take his co workers home because they were drunk, I text him back saying it was late and that it wasn’t his responsibility, after a couple minutes I called him but he had turned off his phone not till 5 almost 6 am he turned it on and told me he was on his way home. I exploded and text him a really long message saying he wasn’t worth anything and that he was like his family, I brought up his ex and talked about his grandmother 🙁 and then I told him to get his stuff and leave. In my head I’m thinking we’re just going to make up again and it will be alright but once he came home he came straight to the room and packed his stuff I asked him if he had anything to say and he said no there was nothing to talk about; I also asked him why he turned off his phone he said because he needed direction to get home since he didn’t know his co workers lived that far (in my opinion I think he turned it off because he thought I was going to yell at him like I would have probably done) he packed his stuff in my car dropped it off at his friends came back for his last stuff and asked me to drop him off. Afterwards he said “well thats the last of it, drive safe we’ll talk later” and I drove off. Living with him and coming home with him and His stuff there I just couldn’t be at home for ten minutes because I wanted to cry and beg him to come back (which I did when he was packing his stuff) later that night I text him telling him how hurt I was and how it affected me he said “it’s hurting me too I’ve been hurting for a while but I’m at work can’t talk” I asked him if he was going to need a ride home since he works at night and doesn’t have a car of his own but said “I’m fine thank you though” and later that night 2am I sent him a long message admitting my wrongs and that I wanted him back he replied after and said he needed space from each other and the relationship and that he wasn’t going to change his mind about that right now. So I left it like that. 4 days later I text him telling him some of his stuff we’re still at my house so I went and dropped it off I asked if we could talk so he agreed and sat in the car with me. I told him I was sorry for abusing him emotionally through out the relationship and that I was sorry for talking bad about his family and friends and that if I ever had the chance to apologize to his grandmother I would do it and he said he would appreciate it. I asked him why we couldn’t work it out and didn’t say much other than he wanted time and space to get his life together and he got off the car. Disappointed I went to my best friends house and told her what had happened, I text him and asked him that why he was doing this to us, he said “I love and care for you still but I need to get my life together before I run into a new relationship or go back to ours” after a couple text messages between us he just kept saying “move on it hurts me too believe me but no good is going to come if we keep running to each other in this broken relationship where we keep hurting each other” and “I recommend moving on maybe it’s better if we see other people” same thing he was telling me when we talked in the car. I know he’s upset and I know I disappointed him but I’m broken and I just want him back to start new again. I admit I was the wrong one and I regret it so much. I try to distract my self but it’s so hard when I can’t feel okay on my own home. His birthday is coming up next month on the 1st but I don’t know it’s a good idea to say happy birthday, but him his favorite cupcake and try to talk to him about giving him space but telling me if we can work it out. I’m confused as to what’s ok and what to tell him and how long to wait. I don’t want to seem cruel and not say happy birthday in 2 weeks. I’m broken and I just can’t take this anymore I need advice,help.