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Boards Reconciliation Failed with no contact. Have I pushed her away

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  • #115713
    Avatarjustfortennis89
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    Getting Ex back

    I would really appreciate any help at all. I will have to cut a lot of my story down but keep the main points.

    I met ex in rehab and moved in with her fairly quickly. We had lots of nice times but also I got very depressed and I got asked to leave to my parents 2 hours away.

    Unfortunately a week ago I relapsed and drank and the same process repeated itself and I find myself back at my dads.

    I know that we are both quite damaged in some ways and I know the suggestions may be that it’s a bad idea but I’m really looking for advice if I were to get back with her. I know from previous relationships she doesn’t end contact or they always seem to drag out.

    Her family cared for me enormously and were very sad when I had to go. They made me promise I would be back once I got myself sorted.

    The first day here, I asked her if she wanted me to cut contact and move on. She said that’s the last thing she wanted but couldn’t see how I could get better. I did amazing for 5 days and each day she would message me asking how I am or asking for something. She said stuff like I wish I knew how I could have made it work and that she missed me. Yesterday I cracked and said I wanted to come back and she reacted very badly, saying it was too soon, I was very selfish etc

    I tried to make her jealous about meeting a friend who’s a girl for support and she went ballistic and blocked me on everything last night. I apologised by email and she sent me a nasty email this morning about never loving me and me being bad in bed. I replied listing all the ways that I will always love her and also saying I now have to move on.

    She has never not spoken to me in 24 hours in the last 6 months. I now fear I have finally pushed her away. What is the best thing to do? How should I leave it.

    Thanks in advance

    #115715
    Avatarpatricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2842

    @justfortennis89 Trying to make someone jealous always backfires!

    You wrote:”she sent me a nasty email this morning about never loving me and me being bad in bed”. WOW.. This is something drastic a person would say when they don’t want to ever hear from someone again.

    You need to consider no contact with her and pull yourself together. Maybe after you’re sober a year and stable, you could contact her again to let her know.. If you’re in the AA program, contact your sponsor as often as necessary to stay sober!

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