Boards Reconciliation Confused about his post-breakup behavior

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  • #115706
    frost
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    Hello.
    My ex boyfriend broke up with me on November 2nd after 2 years of long distance relationship. 3 Months before the breakup, I would see that his behavior towards me had changed (e.g neglecting me more and more). I would tell him my concerns and he would say that everything was fine. I had noticed that he had gained an interest in the girl in his friends group, but he would tell me that I had nothing to worry about, that he liked her but he saw her as a friend and that I was ruining our relationship with my concerns.

    The situation worsened and I told him it was better for us to have a week break. He told me that he would think about a solution to my problem, but that he didnt want to break up with me. After a week, he broke up with me telling me that “I thought about it and you were right. I had lost interest in you. The girl is not the reason. I still love you and want you as a friend”. I told him that i needed time and he said that he respected me. He now waits till i feel better and contact him.

    Turns out he lied. He emotionally cheated on me. They now are getting even closer since she broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago.

    I immediately went no contact after the breakup and he knew that i was pretty devastated. Logged off social media.
    Then:
    -He private called me a few days after.
    -After days again he reached out to my brother asking him if im okay and that he will wait for me till i get over it and become friends. He told him not to tell me that he reached out. My brother said that im fine. He then ghosted him.
    -He private called me in December, a day before my bday
    -He private called me on my bday. I answered this time and noone was talking.
    -Started reading messages from our mutual group chat on messenger. He had stopped checking the group months ago. (my brother showed me from his phone)
    -He reached out to my brother again, 2 days ago. He basically said the same things but added that i am the “most beautiful, sweetest, smartest girl he has ever met” and that he will wait for me so that we talk daily again as friends. He dissapeared again.
    I later see him secretly in an insta story hanging out with her.

    Im utterly confused about his behavior. I dont know what to think anymore. Id like some help. Thanks in advance!

    #115710
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    @frost First of all it’s very difficult to maintain a romantic relationship long distance, especially for men! Also your jealousy might have played a small part in his decision to breakup with you. It sounds like he’s concerned about you, but doesn’t want anything more than friendship. If you can accept that without hounding him about his decision, being jealous, or trying to change his mind, there’s a chance you could be good friends.

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