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Sorry I didn’t reply, it was early morning and I had to grab a few hours sleep before work!
Patrick, it is hard, it’s the most difficult to not contact someone you have spent so much of your life with. But it does get easier, trust me. Each day that goes by gets a tiny bit easier. And no, you haven’t spent enough time on yourself because you don’t love yourself yet. You might think you do things each day to be happy, but can you get in bed at the end of the night and say you love your life and you love yourself ? That’s where you need to be.
It all amounts to making small changes, every negative thought or doubt that comes into your mind, recognise it, accept it and then move on. Swap it for a thought that makes you happy. It’s hard, but with practice it becomes easier.
Phoenix, I know how you feel. I found out the other week that my guy is seeing someone else, and I have no doubt he got in touch with her a few days after he broke up with me. It didn’t affect me. I know what he’s like and I know this is what he does, it’s his pattern when we break up (which we have done a couple of times over the last four years), he needs to fill the void. And if that is how he chooses to do it, then that is his prerogative and I can’t change his mind. Until I change me. You need to be selfish right now, you need to concentrate on yourself and not her.
Everyone is all on their own journey, and it is not up to us to question their choices. We can only go with our own path, and those that are meant to walk with us, will eventually meet up with us somewhere along the road again.
Thanks for your words Relic. Good to have you on here. I’ll tell you something, I feel a hell of a lot better and prouder of myself now than a few weeks ago.
It’s hard to believe that 2 weeks have passed so quickly. And we haven’t had a Chat since.
Back home they worried that I would hit the drink again. That would lead to me losing my Job and back down the spiral I’d go. They even had a sister almost on standby to come over. But this time I didn’t. This time I said no. And I walked on. For that I feel good. And for that I can sleep easier each day. I can take the blows now. It’s the fear of the blows that destroys us.I’m not horribly worried about it. When my ex first started going out with me she was over the top happy, would write things on fb about how she was in love like you see in movies, perfect fairy tale stories, and she had found her soulmate. All pictures of us together were happy and smiling. This time around, with this girl, my ex is not posting anything at all… it’s all this other girl posting and tagging her in pictures. She seems incredibly passive like she’s just along for the ride. No big smiles in the pics with my ex, none of our friends seem to approve of this relationship, her family certainly hasn’t… it all seems to be this girl’s friends/family. I doubt it’ll last long as she doesn’t seem happy really and appears to be very much one sided.
You’re absolutely right. I practiced cutting cords last night so I can be done with it and carry on without being held back. I am already doing so much better than I had months ago and I don’t want to be weighed down. It was strange though because I felt like there was a lot of difficulty cutting them, but it almost felt like it wasn’t on my part (almost felt like she didn’t want me to, but too bad). I’ve also felt worse physically the next morning having done it a few times. I started to have stomach problems the last month or two we were together, kind of out of nowhere, and it got worse after the split. I’m still of mind it’s me picking up on her feelings as she would have stomach problems when she was upset, yet I never did before recently. I cut them last night again as it almost seems like they come back, and this morning my stomach was incredibly pissed off.
I’ve been trying my best to focus on LoA, but there’s only been one really good article that I have found. Any others you could share relic?
@patrick_d
I am beyond proud of you! Keep it up hon! 😀 And you should be proud of yourself.
Pheonix. Can you please give some insight here.
As I said, my ex texts every few days even though i am in NC. Today was strange.
She sent 2 photos; First of 2 kittens that we hand-reared about 4 years ago. Second of a few of us running in the coutryside about 2.5 years ago.
She then wrote; “everything is different. I couldn’t go on. You know that”:Please give your opinion.
Sounds to me like she misses you. But you need to keep strong and focus on yourself, hon. I’m not entirely sure what she meant by “I couldn’t go on. You know that.” Unless it means she has no intention of moving on and is waiting for you. But try not to read too much into it.
I think she means that she couldn’t go on in the relationship as it was.
What’s confusing is that she said 2 weeks ago that she is seeing someone else.
Strange stuff to send to me if that’s the case.
I didn’t reply. I need to get myself happy before I do.
Wish I could read her though. And know what she meansHey, there’s all kinds of stuff out there :). Try looking for books your youtube videos by people like Abraham Hicks, NEville Goddard and eventually they will lead you on to more and more, but they are a great place to start. There’s a really great book and movie called The Secret, and a guy called Mike Dooley writes some pretty awesome stuff too!
Also, search for a forum called power law of attraction. There’s some really great people there with fantastic advice. They do have an ex back section, but a lot of the forum is geared towards having a better life :).
I hope these help!
How are you Pheonix? Any News at all? I have nothing Major to Report. Trying to Keep myself in check at all times. It gets easier.
The not knowing is hard too but I feel like she is coming back and we will be together soon. Then I have the doubts again. But she seems to be missing at least the old times, which is something I suppose.
Anyway, all about me now. If she wants me, she knows were i am and she can stop talking in riddles and come and get me.@relic
thanks for that. Have listened to some Abraham hicks. Bought a book yesterday. Cant remember the author but highly rated online. A friend told me today to check out Paulo Coehlo. You ever read his stuff? I must buy The Alchemist.@relic Thanks for the info! I’ve been perusing those forums and found a lot of it very insightful. I have not read/seen The Secret, but it looks very interesting:D
@patrick d Nothing too major to report. I got paid today which is nice as I only get paid once a month. I had an epiphany today and took in the fact that I am more than financially stable for my age, have no debt, and am doing really well on my own. I say this only because I have never fully lived on my own before, but it’s empowering!
I had a great weekend that was full of fun. I did meditate for a bit last night. I made an attempt to reach out to my ex and her new girl to send them a message, hopefully while they were asleep. I did it from a place of love and the messages were something like this:
“<ex> it’s <ThePhoenix>. Please be happy. I forgive you for the past. Everything is in the past now. You are my best friend and I love you very much. I’m moving on and not looking back now. Please find happiness, just as I have for myself.”
“<new girl> it’s <ThePhoenix>. Please take good care of <ex>. She needs a light touch in her life and I hope you can live up to it. She has so much to offer the world should she find her way again. Please be there for her and support her, do what you can to help her on her way. Please do not hurt her. I wish you both the best.”
I repeated this probably 10 times for the new girl and 25 times for my ex before I felt they had been received. After that I focused on myself and I was able to sleep really well and did not have any dreams (that I could remember). I have no intention of doing this little reach out again as I felt it served it’s purpose.
How about you patrick?
Hi Patrick! I hope you’ve been well since we last conversed.
I talked briefly with a psychic. I did not give him details, but it was uncanny how much he knew. I’m honestly surprised at how much he understood and I will be talking with him on Friday in depth. I’ll let you know what he says.
@relic I watched The Secret and I absolutely love it!Cool. He sounds good. If he says something bad then maybe dont tell me.
But I have a feeling all will be good for you. Try to get some info on how he does it.
I must watch that too.Oh, I’m fine by the way. I’m doing well. Feeling good. All will be Ok no matter what happens. Life will go on and I’ll enjoy it.
Hope you have been keeping wellHi pheonix. Good luck tomorrow with the fortune teller. Don’t forget me. Lol. Hope you hear just good things.
Well I had a strange one this evening. I was chatting to a few people about having the feeling of just giving up on the ex. What’s the point waiting around. Even though she had text those messages they didn’t leave anything clear. Just maybe that she was thinking of the good old days.
Anyway, then at 11pm, whilst talking for the first time about giving up, she text again. Why no contact at all she asked. She doesn’t want to worry because she has exams coming up. Please she said.
So I decided I don’t really care and replied that I was busy and good luck with the studying. To which she replied that is good I’m busy and what about the fact that I said before about us meeting up and staying friends. I said I could meet. She seemed to be happy with that and said after her exams any time. So I don’t know if the new man is there or gone. Anyway. Just to throw a curve ball, I said that I might not be here then.
There followed a few texts. Where would I be. Let her know. She will try to meet before. Good night. Good that I am doing well. I didn’t reply.Would it be just coincidence that the exact moment I start telling people I’m moving on that that happens late at night? Still don’t have a clue what she wants. Maybe just friends. Maybe more. Maybe doesn’t want anything else on her mind until after the exams.
But I feel at ease tonight. I feel some power. I feel for the first time that everything will be ok. And whether I get her back or not doesn’t really get to me now. I have me. And I have lots to offer. A new improved me.
I could almost feel worry reading her last messages. Oddly, I could smell red wine reading another!Strange goings on.
How are you? And again, enjoy tomorrow
Hey Patrick! Thanks for the well wishing!
I would go with your gut on things. It is interesting that when you mentioned moving on, she seemed to pop back up. The fact that she said she didn’t want to worry about you with her exams strikes me as odd. How in the world would that tie into her exams? Sounds to me like she misses you. I wouldn’t try to read too much into the coincidence, but you never know!
I understand where you’re coming from however. When I reached out to my ex while meditating and told her I was moving on and wished her well. The next day my psychic said she had woken up from her sleep with thoughts of me (we’ll be discussing that in depth tomorrow).
We’ll see how it plays out, but the initial brief contact with me from him was uncanny. He stated that we pierced one another’s hearts like no one else has. She knows I could be the one, but knowing that almost terrifies her. She also knows there’s no one else out there that could love her as much as I do. He knew about the deep emotional scars she carries from abuse and how it affects her. If we had been left alone to grown on our own, he stated, we would not have had all the problems we’ve had… but influences were getting in the way. There’s also the matter of her own self-doubts getting in the way. Apparently she’s having problems internally between what she wants and what she thinks she wants. All of it sounded incredibly dead on.
I told him nothing about any of that. The most I said was that we had been in a 5 year relationship and she broke up with me. She’s living elsewhere now. We’ll see how the phone call goes tomorrow, but I anticipate it being very interesting based on how the initial contact was.
I’ve been working more on LoA the past few days. Tonight I made an attraction board of all the things I want to attract into my life with pictures. A lot of them were ones that I drew myself as I want to have a lot of my influence in them and my desire to get back into drawing. I’m really proud of it and excited to add more things to it! Might be something you could try out for yourself if you wanted. 🙂
I hope you have a great day tomorrow and I’ll try to toss you out there for the psychic. 😉
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