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After my apology letter for past mishaps and a declaration of NC indefinitely.. this is what my ex sent. Idk how to take it. Advice?
“Thank you for your message. I love you and miss you like crazy. I am very regretful and remorseful for how I handled things and treated you. I Just wanted you to know that. I love you SO much and I am glad that you are happy and doing well. I am looking forward to the day that you are ready to speak to me”
Then followed up with
“There is so much more I want to say and I wish that I could do it in person. I have a hard time writing things out. You said a lot that I want to elaborate on..”Go with how you feel…During this NC. I think I realized that if I love someone I’m going to follow my heart and not base it off of logic.
I rather have my ex in my life as a friend than nothing at all…my grandfather just passed and he’s the only. One I feel like I can talk to. About it I emailed him because he blocked me so.hopefully he message me back but at this moment in time life is to short to wait to tell someone how you feel so however I feel I’m going to say it….maybe because I’m vulnerable right now but I just have to at least if one of us our gone forever he’ll know how I feelYeah. There were a lot of areas and some thoughts and feelings I needed to express with her in a positive way. She believed that I was angry and that’s why I wasn’t talking to her. I had to set the record straight; that it has nothing to do with anger. (Although, I have been angry on and off and really hurt) But I thought it was counter-productive if she felt I was just doing this to be spiteful.
I believe sticking with NC will be a good thing for me, but I’m not entirely sure if it will do any good in terms of getting a new and better relationship with my ex. I say that because she is a very selfish person, and she will more than likely lose whatever feelings she has left for me. She is extremely self-involved. NC has helped me see all of this, and who knows.. maybe I won’t want her eventually. I already feel like I could be okay without her and her issues stifling my life. I do love her beyond measure. Don’t get me wrong. I have a burning passion with her name all over it, but life is too short to wait for someone else to fix themselves. Plus, all the really messed up things she did.. it kind of screams she wasn’t in love with me.
I think if you were a friend to your ex that it could still work in your favor. Stick to the plan a bit. Don’t be needy. Don’t constantly hit your ex up to talk or hang out. You know the drill. Improve right in front of her eyes, if remaining in contact is the way you want to go. Good luck, buddy.
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