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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #115680
    AvatarR10A
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 4

    I would love you insight into this.

    I was dating a woman for 4 weeks and then she broke up with me 2 weeks into December after our 4th date. We stayed as friends as I was ok with this but about this but we had a prearranged NYE group night planes and a mutual friend told me she still wanted to go. The evening was going well but on the stroke of 12 she kissed me (not just a friendly kiss) and again later on. She then let me walk her home and then as I was leaving she let me kiss her. This left me confused so about 3 weeks later I asked if she wanted to get back together and she no. A week later I was in my local and she came in with a group of her close friends and they told me she really liked me. I saw her 3 more times over this year once was meant to be a group evening that ended up being just the two of us, the next was valentines weekend and again a week or two later to just sit in at hers and watch some GOT but both times I had to convince her this was just as friends. Anyway by this time my feelings had grown and I felt I had to tell her this. She was very sympathetic and said she didn’t want to be the cause of any hurt so would keep her distance. Anyway with all this Coronavirus about and has she lives alone I broke the no contact rule with the intention of seeing if she was alright. During this conversation I made the mistake of trying to win her back. Her response was that she liked me and wished she felt the same but she didn’t think she ever would and that she knew her own mind. I tried using logic but could not shift her. I think she was getting tired of me because she said I wasn’t listening so I responded that she could not know what the future would bring but this was the end of the road for us, so I would say my good by and that it was nice to have met her and I wished her all the best. She didn’t respond to this message. A month later I realise I’d left some dvds at hers and asked if she could return them either passing than back to a mutual friend or passing them back to the same friend when she was back at work, she said no problem and that it would probably be when she was back at work. I then began to think if we was over why not just pass them back straight away to our mutual friend or ask me to collect them? Either way she still has them which isn’t a big problem as they are just dvds and can easily be replaced and I haven’t heard from her since. I recently saw her at my place of work a builders merchants near to where she lives, she was just driving out so we didn’t speak.

    What are your thoughts on getting my her back??

    #115683
    Avatarpatricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2842

    @R10A Sorry, but she made up her mind not to get together. You should stop pushing her as it will only serve to aggravate her! If she really wanted to be with you, she would have said so.

    She should have returned your dvds by now. You could ask her one more time to return them..

    #115684
    AvatarR10A
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 4

    I agree @patricia12 having had time to think things over when we first met we had been set up by our mutual friends and so it felt a bit like an arranged marriage and I wasn’t very committed and so when she asked to be just friends I agreed readily but as we kept spending time together feeling grew and so I didn’t respect her decision and devalued myself by begging and asking for her to try again. I feel a lot stronger now and know what I want but am not afraid of not getting her back. I understand where she’s coming from and if it was up to me I would have stay and work on it but I understand her decision and so wish her well and all the best. As for the dvds they are just dvds and easily replaced, it just seemed weird not to just return them ASAP if she wasn’t interested in a future for us both and just wanted to move on but I’m not a mind reader and so can’t say what is going through her mind.

    #115685
    Avatarpatricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2842

    @R10A You wrote:”..it just seemed weird not to just return them ASAP if she wasn’t interested in a future for us both and just wanted to move on..” Interest in a future for both of you has nothing to do with her not returning your dvds! If it has been weeks or months since you asked her to return them, it shows she isn’t a very nice person to respect your request!

    I suggest you don’t obsess about her and move on to date others..

    Good luck and stay safe:)

    #115686
    AvatarR10A
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 4

    I was speaking from my own point of view, if I had split up with someone and still had some of there stuff that they had ask back for I myself would get it back to them as soon as possible and not hang onto it. I do agree though and feel a lot better that I did when we broke up and feel back in control of my life.

    #115687
    Avatarpatricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2842

    @R10A I would do the same thing if I had someones stuff and was asked to return it.. It’s the decent and considerate thing to do!

    Glad you feel better:) Take care..

    #115688
    AvatarR10A
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 4

    Thanks you

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