July 6, 2015 at 1:37 am #49625
I was looking at my ex’s new “girl of interest”s’ Facebook wall (because its the only way I am finding out about their “relationship” since my ex is not talking about her to me at all about her), and accidentally clicked “like” on one of her posts. I quickly unliked it, but she found out. She said, “I know we’re not friends but I hope you were entertained! LOL”.
What do I do?
Will this affect my chances of gaining my ex back? 🙁
PS. I’ve been Post-NC, 2 months. Since then, been trying to be friends with my ex, texting/ calling each other everyday, noticed we still have feelings for each other since we have kissed, and been talking about sexual fantasies with each other… but we haven’t been at the moment where we discussed about getting back together yet.July 6, 2015 at 6:25 pm #49657SteveParticipant
- Total Posts: 142
Firstly I don’t want to cause offence or hurt and if what I say comes across that way I apologise, but I feel I should say this.
Why are you looking at Ex new girl on Facebook…seriously.. Why???? You write it is the only way you are finding out about their “relationship”. Why do you need to know about their relationship??? You are causing yourself untold pain and hurt by Facebook stalking. There is no valid reason for you to be looking at this girls profile. Not one reason. You don’t need to know about your Ex new relationships. If your Ex has moved on, then you need to too. Get your life back on track and it will make your appear more attractive
I am off the firm belief that No Contact should also include no Facebook stalking. It does not help your cause or your life in any way. It makes you appear creepish, stalkish and crazy. Leave it alone. Just imagine the conversation your Ex is going to have with this new girl
New Girl “So I was on Facebook and Origami like a post of mine”
Ex “What??? are you two friends?”
New Girl “No, she just liked a post of mine”
Ex ” So what was she doing looking at your profile?”
New Girl “I think she was checking up on you and me and seeing what information she could get about us”
Ex “That’s so obsessive and creepy, what did I ever see in Origami? she is crazy in the head. I should keep away from her and stop texting her”
New Girl “You’re right your Ex is crazy and I’m not. Anyway, why don’t you kiss me and stop thinking about Origami”
New girl leads your Ex to bedroom to fulfil your Ex’s sexual fantasies
See what I mean. This will be an actual conversation between new girl and your Ex if you keep stalking and obsessing over this new girl. Yes you may be on talking terms with your Ex, but right now its not a guarantee that your Ex will come back. You are ruining your chances by looking at this girls Facebook profile
Best thing you can do is block your Ex’s new girl completely on Facebook.July 7, 2015 at 4:36 am #49665penelope4Participant
- Total Posts: 124
Hi, Origami! You’re living the 21st century social media nightmare… sometimes I go into panic thinking that I might accidentally click “like” on something I’m stalking…
The milk is spilt; all you can do is remain calm. I agree with Steve that facebook stalking never does any good and we only ever feel bad afterwards. However, I also understand that it’s so easy to do it, especially when we don’t have any other way of getting information. You’re not alone – I’m sure 9 out of 10 people succumb to the temptation.
I don’t agree, though, that having looked at her profile is the end of your potential future reconciliation. So you looked at her profile. Big deal. We all do it. Your ex has probably looked at yours since you’ve split. Try to look at it this way: if anything, he’ll see that you’re still interested/jealous. That’s information he can work with if he wants to consider getting back together with you. At least your cards are on the table.
By the way, your guy’s new girl sounds awfully smug; if she had class she wouldn’t have gloated about your accidental like. Maybe your guy will pick up on this.July 8, 2015 at 10:38 am #49697
Hi Steve, thanks for your comment. I’m not in No Contact mode; I’m in post-NC mode. The rules are now different.
My ex’s new girl isn’t directly connected to me on FB. She makes all her statuses about him “public”, so its easy to just check up on it. Thats why it was an accident when I clicked on her wall.
Thing is, it doesn’t seem like he’s completely moved on, since we still have deep feelings for each other. He doesn’t talk about her nor mention her at all to me, so its like she doesn’t even exist. So what do I say to that? I must also pretend she doesn’t exist. We did talk way long ago about her existence, but it seemed as if he wasn’t really diggin’ her. I feel he’s just keeping her around, the way he doesn’t speak of her at all.July 8, 2015 at 10:55 am #49699
Thanks penelope4, yes, I agree to remain calm, and to not get crazy over checking her posts. I know he still likes me, perhaps even loves me.
The way that we’re still in contact with each other daily post-NC built up to this point, has been clear indication to him that we don’t want to let go of each other. It’s going to take a bit more than that to have him regain his love for me though.
Yes, her comment was rather smug. Not sure why she’s gloating over a simple accidental like.
He and I have great chemistry, we’ve talked about us (not to get too deep in the future sense of everything, but us in current tense), but he’s afraid of not feeling safe with me in order to get back into a relationship.
I’m trying to figure out how to prove to him that he should feel safe with me.
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