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I first started dating my ex about 2 years ago. In the beginning we were so in love and I thought I found the one. I was his first love and first girlfriend as well. About 8 months into our relationship things started to go down hill for us. He started to become hot and cold with me. He would tell me how he loves me so much but then the next second he is barely replying to my text. The last two months have been hard and we have been fighting constantly. We ended up getting into a stupid fight because I got upset about him not coming over. I didn’t think he was going to end it but after an hour of not texting me back he called me and said he reached his breaking point and he is done. At first I didn’t know if he meant it because he has ended it before and not contacted me for a week and then came back. This is the longest we have ever gone without contacting each other. Right when we broke up I begged him for two days and on the third day I sent a text saying I love him and I’m sorry for everything but I said goodbye and haven’t been in contact since. He never replied to any text either. I live with his cousin and he has been reaching out to her about family issues (which he doesn’t ever talk about to her or anyone). Before we broke up he barely use to talk to his cousin and now he like talks to her multiple times a week but doesn’t ever ask about me. He has also been trying to hangout with my roommates boyfriend and he never tried to do that when we were dating. Could this mean he is trying to get my attention without contacting me directly? He is very prideful so I don’t think he will text me. After 30 days no contact I was going to text him very nicely and ask if I could meet him somewhere to get my things from him but I don’t know if this is a good idea? Also when we broke up he went change his profile pictures on all his social media except Facebook and its been almost a month since we broke up and his Facebook picture is still us and says we are in a relationship still. I doubt this means anything but something just doesn’t feel over between us. I feel like he is trying to reach out to people close in my circle to get my attention even though he isn’t asking about me. I’m scared to get ignored again but after 30 days I would really like to try and reach out. I am in desperate need of advice on what to do. From what his cousin says he isn’t talking to anyone or dating anyone. Is there any chance I could get him back?
@mmm13 You wrote:”the next second he is barely replying to my text.” & “I got upset about him not coming over.” It might be that you were too clingy and smothering him. Also while in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic isn’t a good time to see each other frequently. Think about it. If you been clingy in the past, try to change that behavior.
Guys hate drama and arguing. It’s one of the main reasons for breakups!
You also wrote:”he has ended it before and not contacted me for a week and then came back.” Okay, it sounds like he broke up with you at least once before. Did he give you exact reasons? Did you make any necessary improvements?
It’s good that you apologized, but you didn’t need to add “Goodbye”. That makes it sound final (as if you didn’t care if you two got back together or not).
If you really need your things, you could make arrangements with him to pick them up. It doesn’t have to be a “meeting”. You could simply pick up your stuff outside his place in order to avoid seeing him for an extending time if he prefers not to “meet up”. So yeah, after 30 days contact him to discuss getting your stuff back..
Don’t read too much into the Facebook thing or his contacting his cousin etc.. You might have a chance for reconciliation if you make good changes and the relationship was very good in the past. But right now he apparently has some bad memories fresh in his mind and it will take time for them to gradually fade.
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